Category Archives for Affirmations

3 Steps to Releasing Emotional Energy (and not trapping it)

As an Energy Healer who specialises in Emotional Healing with The Emotion Code, I talk a lot about trapped emotions:  in particular,  what they are, how they get trapped and how to release them.

However, I have also been asked by many clients, who have cleared a load of trapped emotions, how they can prevent trapping more emotions in the future especially when “life just happens”.  This is an interesting and practical concept and one that I have found a need for myself recently so here is my simple but essential 3 step guide to avoiding the energy of negative emotions from lodging in your body somewhere, causing you blockages, mal-function and illness.

1.  Acknowledgment

We’re here to express ourselves at Soul level through our humanity and that involves embracing life and all it has to offer. You can read extensively about how we can prevent a lot of negative energy and emotions in the first place by choosing our friends carefully, learning to meditate to maintain more peace within and by generally avoiding negative situations and drama etc.

This is all very well but sometimes negative emotions still creep in and you know what, sometimes, even, they are meant to.  Life is not about avoiding negative emotions all together – some, eg: grief,  go hand in hand with positive emotions – so they cannot be avoided. It’s about knowing how to deal with them when they arise so their energy can pass through you and not get stuck.

Like all energy (including us) emotional energy wants to be acknowledged.  It wants to be noticed, appreciated, maybe learned from, maybe acted upon but whatever else you do with it, it wants to be acknowledged.

Too often in our culture we are encouraged to hide our emotions – big boys don’t cry, stiff upper lip and pull yourself together etc.  This is exactly how we stop negative energy from passing through our fields and causing it to lodge somewhere within us – only to cause us issues later in life.

Maybe we feel we shouldn’t feel a certain way because other people have it worse or maybe we judge ourselves too harshly by believing we shouldn’t feel a certain way.

But you know what – it doesn’t matter what other people are feeling or not feeling – comparing ourselves to others is never a good thing.  And judging ourselves is just another form of self criticism, is it not?  Another form of self-abuse and beating ourselves up. Definitely to be avoided at all costs.

Sometimes we just don’t want to admit to feeling a certain way eg: jealousy. Or maybe we just don’t like the feeling negative emotions give us and we choose to bury them so as not to feel them. But that’s the whole point of negative emotions – they have come to us to be felt.  They have come to us for us to process. They have come to us as a message from our bodies, from our hearts – a message we need to heed in order to grow.

“Denying yourself the experience of pain is denying yourself the
experience of growth.”

 So allow yourself to feel the emotion.  Don’t pretend for whatever reason that you’re not feeling them – they are part of your humanity. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, the grief, the heartache, the jealousy, the pain whatever it is.  Be kind to yourself.

Self-love here – always important.  Give yourself the time, the solitude and the situation in which you can just sit and be so you can feel and acknowledge the sensations within.  Verbalise it.  Use an affirmation to focus your intention.

I allow myself to feel this pain. 

I give myself permission to truly feel this pain. 

I am ready and willing to feel this pain.

I am ready and willing to listen to my body now.

Please note that I am not suggesting a prolonged state of “wallowing” in one’s negative emotions here but a healthy amount of acknowledgement before moving onto the next step.

2.  Process it.

Like all energy – our emotional energy wants to move, it wants to flow. Like water it will go stagnant and bad if it is prevented from flowing.  This is why it’s best to be on your own for this part.  Most good friends, however well meaning they are, will encourage you to stop crying and it’s exactly this stopping of crying that is suppressing the emotional energy.

I often see my clients and guests crying – and, to be honest, I think of it as something to be celebrated – after all, the negative energy is coming out – it’s the most healing practice our bodies have – having a good cry. It’s literally energy in motion and that’s what we want. The energy moving out – passing through our energy fields.

So crying is the number one way to process the pain. Encourage the tears as you visualise the negative emotions moving through your body and releasing.  There are a number of other ways we can process our negative emotions.

Writing in a journal is a favourite for many.  Just find yourself a pen and paper and start writing.  Write how you feel. Describe the emotions. Vent any feelings around the situation onto the paper.  You can do it in the form of a letter to a specific person or even a letter to the Universe.  Keep going, writing anything – whatever comes to mind. As you feel a wave of emotion, write it all down.  As you feel the emotions begin to subside you can turn your writing into a gratitude list and start focusing on the positive.

In addition to writing your emotions out of you, you can also sing them out!  Or dance them out – or in my case, Yoga them out!  If you set your intention (sankalpa) before your yoga practice of processing these negative emotions you will find that, firstly, you may feel the need to cry during your practice and, secondly, that you will feel heaps better afterwards. Very cathartic.

Of course, all sports and physical activity can be cathartic as is painting, drawing etc  So find your preferred outlet to process your negative emotions and you’ll even find it enjoyable to do so.

3.  Release it.

Releasing your negative emotions is pretty much dealt with during the processing stage but you can use affirmations and gratitude to confirm the release of certain emotions.

I release all negative energy from past experiences and let go of any toxic conclusions made.

I release all feelings of fear, sadness, grief, heartache, anxiety, despair…….now and set myself free.

I am grateful for the release of “this” emotional energy

Gratitude is a powerful energy.  And as “time” is just a wibbly wobbly line in reality, we can use Gratitude in Advance which is super powerful.

Thank you for the release of this emotional energy. Thank you for the lessons and growth from this pain.  I am grateful for its release now.  All is well in my world.

                                                                                             And so it is.

 

Let me know how you get on.  Please share your comments below and get in touch if you’d like help with releasing trapped emotions or coaching in how to do it for yourself.

Love and Blessings

Top Ten Steps to Self-Love – How many do you do?

Self Love is such an integral part of our health and happiness and we should take every opportunity  to focus upon our Self Love care.  What do you do to nurture love for yourself?

Check out my Top Ten Steps to Self Love – how many do you do regularly?

1. Repeat Self Love affirmations.

If the classic “I love and accept myself completely” doesn’t resonate with you yet then why not try “I’m willing to love and accept myself” or “I am lovable” or “I deserve to be loved”.  Find one that feels comfortable for you. Repeat it morning, noon and night and in no time you’ll be more comfortable with “I love and accept myself completely”.  If you can muscle test yourself, muscle test each affirmation to see how much your subconscious really believes it…………….and keep going. Seriously the most healing thing you could do for yourself.

2. Give gratitude

Give gratitude for all the things in your life that you love. Write a list of all the things you love about your life, your job, your friends, your family, your home, your pets, your health etc! Keep this going until you feel “fluent” in pouring out your love.  Then progress to writing a list of all the things you love about yourself. No one is going to read it so just go with it – even if the things you are writing are not strictly true about yourself – maybe they are your desires – but write them anyway, as if you really loved those aspects of yourself already – as if they were fact – keep it going…..you’ll soon see a difference.

3. Do the Thing that Makes your Heart Sing

It always makes us feel good – about life and about ourselves. That sense of excitement in whatever our passionate activity is, is a display of our connection to Source. This is where you can tap into the most LOVE.

“Excitement is the physical translation of the vibrational resonance that is your true core, natural being.”
Abraham Hicks

4. Have a good cry! 

Crying is one of the best ways to release negative trapped emotions that could be blocking you from loving yourself. Subconscious (or conscious) feelings of unworthiness can often sabotage our Self Love. Sometimes we can’t put our finger on exactly how we feel or why we want to cry but no worries – better out than in!  I always think it’s better not to hold tears in – rather stay mindful of releasing the resistance to your greatness and celebrate it. Sometimes we can get the urge to cry when we’re on our own, walking in nature or exercising – don’t you find? It’s your body’s way of letting you know you have something to release – so let it out!

5. Abhyanga

Abhyanga is a nurturing Ayurvedic massage with warm oils.  It can be done by another or by yourself.  It’s this self massage infused with love that really works wonders on building one’s Self Love. Using your favourite aromas and essential oils (not necessarily warm as that would make it an even longer process that you’ll find even easier to avoid – true, eh?) massage your body slowly and lovingly remembering to give gratitude and love to each body part as you go. Just allowing yourself the time to do such acts of Self Love sends a signal to your subconscious that you are worthy and deserving which is healing in itself.

 

6. Get a Pet.

Obviously only if you are in a position to take responsibility for one.  Otherwise I’m sure you could “borrow” one occasionally. See how loyal pets are – especially dogs. They will loveyou unconditionally. They are always so pleased and excited to see you. They readily forgive you for any mistakes you make. They don’t judge you. They are not as held back by negative emotions as we are.  They love and accept you exactly as you are. If a dog can do all of this – then surely you can too?

7.  Yoga – of course!

Ask anyone who practices Yoga regularly how it has helped their self love and you’ll hear an inspirational transformation story for sure! Yoga gives us health AND happiness and it’s always easier to love ourselves when we’re healthy and happy.

8. Compliment yourself.

Say lovely things to and about yourself – even if the compliments are half-hearted in the beginning it will get you in the energy flow of appreciating different aspects of yourself. It’s all about that energy flow!

9. Love your Inner Child.

Inner Child Work is where we find that little child from our past who is still within us, and give him/her all the love they need.  We pick up so many blocks to Self Love when those we expect and hope to get love from let us down or for whatever reason, we don’t feel the love they are trying to give us. Parents can only do what they are capable of doing at the time and they, too, have their own issues going on. Maybe just turning up late to pick you up from school made you feel “unloved” – these things can be so innocent.
We are all made of pure love energy underneath which is why we seek to attract pure love energy.  We go looking for love from other people. But the secret is not to look for love from others but to provide it for ourselves. If we can provide ourselves with the love our subconscious so desperately craves then we can enjoy love from others as an added bonus!
Close your eyes (in meditation) and visualise yourself at a time in your life when you felt unloved and then visualise yourself going up to your younger self and wrapping your arms around them and telling them how special they are and how much they are loved. If done seriously, it can be quite emotional, but it is so, so powerful and very, very healing. And, of course, it isn’t always the little child within us that needs a hug. The teenager, young adult and grown adult within you will also appreciate a squeeze and hug of pure love, no doubt.

10. Forgiveness.  

There is no greater act of Self Love than Forgiving yourself and others. Easier said than done I know and if you are having problems with this healing concept, I suggest you start with repeating and writing affirmations such as,
“I am willing to forgive myself and others. I set the past free.”

 

Have I missed any?  What are your Self Love tips – as always, I would love to hear from you.

Need help getting started on all of this?  For Self Healing Coaching and/or Energy Healing get in touch deborah@deborahjanesutton.com or come and visit one of our Heal yourself to Happiness Retreats

Retreats

Love and Blessings

xx

How to get Affirmations to work for you

You can’t start a piece on Affirmations without first mentioning the lovely Louise Hay who is undoubtedly the Queen of Affirmations and certainly her book, You Can Heal Your Life, was the beginning of my conscious journey to inner love, peace, acceptance and joy.  This, by it’s pure nature, led to my improved health, abundance, vision and happiness.  For this reason, not only am I a big fan of Affirmations, but I also love helping others understand How and Why they are so important to Self Healing and Happiness.

However, I have had a number of clients who have complained that they don’t feel comfortable with saying Affirmations because they feel empty or the sentences get stuck in their throats for the simple reason that they perceive them as “lies”.

Let’s take the example,

“I love myself so I lovingly feed myself nourishing foods and beverages.”

You may not have learned to love yourself yet and indeed it may just bring to your mind the fact (and guilt and shame) that you regularly eat junk food and drink fizzy drinks.  (I was going to write “alcohol” there but I honestly believe that fizzy drinks are more poisonous to our bodies than alcohol but that’s another story!)

If this is your reflex response thought to this Affirmation then you can either focus on the love you do have for yourself and the aspects of your diet that ARE nourishing – even if this is small – at least it’s TRUE and by repeating it morning, noon and night you will find that you will slowly love yourself more each day AND slowly increase the amount of your diet that is “nourishing”.  But you do have to do it – believe me it works!

If this still does not resonate with you and it just makes you feel worse (we can’t have that) then you can downsize the Affirmation.

For example, by using the words ” I am changing” or “I am Willing”

“I am changing  the way I think about food.”

“I am willing to let LOVE into my heart.”

“I am willing to improve my diet.”

We can do the same for Abundance Affirmations too.  When trying to manifest more money into their lives many people get stuck because they are focusing on what they DON’T HAVE rather than what they HAVE.  If you focus on “lack” then the Universe will give you MORE “lack”.  This is where there is an overlap with manifesting  through Gratitude and The Law of Attraction.  It’s all the same concept.  I’ve said it before and I’m sure I will say it again! Everything is Energy.  We emit a vibrational frequency and by the pure nature of Science (yes, Science!) the Universe will bring back to us that SAME frequency.  So if you emit energies of Gratitude it will bring you MORE things to be Grateful for.  If you emit LOVE, it will send you MORE LOVE.  It’s SO simple!  Some people refer to it as “The Secret” (Rhonda Byrne’s famous book and film) but I prefer the word “Concept” because, to me, it’s such a logical CONCEPT.

So as you focus every morning, noon and night on the nourishing aspects of your diet, the good things about your body, the things you DO have and are grateful for and the abundance you actually already have, the Universe will match it and bring you MORE.  Now that’s ABUNDANCE!

 

How to Boost the Power of Your Affirmations

To help you raise your vibrations try visualising as you say your Affirmations – visualise the body you want to have (make sure it’s YOUR body you visualise and not anyone else’s – you have no idea what’s inside other people’s bodies), visualise your bills paid, visualise driving the car you want, visualise a soul mate, visualise the activity you want to be doing ………………I mean REALLY imagine you already have it.  SEE it – what does it look like? SMELL it – what does it smell like?  HEAR and TASTE it.  FEEL it – what does it feel like?  SENSE the whole thing.  Now THIS will raise your vibrations to receiving whatever it may be.  If a negative or contradictory thought enters your head – just let it go – and keep going.

Some people find Affirmations are more powerful and effective said while doing yoga, for example.  Personally, I find repeating them while swimming is powerful but then you have to find YOUR “thing”. The thing that makes your Heart Sing – and say them then!

 

How Often Do I Need to Repeat my Affirmations?

I have said repeat them morning,  noon and night but really I mean much MORE than that!  When you first wake up, while cleaning your teeth, while in the shower, while doing your hair, while driving to work, if you’re busy all day at work say them when you got to the loo – just keep saying them.  Try and say them with total BELIEF.  Even if none of this is resonating with you and you still don’t believe they can work STILL just SAY them.  I had no idea how powerful Affirmations could be – I just repeated the first set of Affirmations from Louise Hay’s book – and said them without knowing or believing any of this – it was only later on that I realised all my Affirmations had come true!  Honestly – it was like OMG!  I have and I am everything that I’m saying – Wow!  Whether it was physical manifestations or my perception of things that had changed is an interesting point to explore but that is another story! They had ALL become, indeed, TRUE for me.

 

So I quickly wrote out 8 more Affirmations to fit my new desires.  I also took these from Louise Hay’s film “You Can Heal Your Life” because they were all encompassing and relevant to me (to everyone I don’t doubt)  but you can make your own up or find the best ones for you from the exercise at the end of this piece.

 

How Can I Word my Affirmations?

Affirmations always need to be in the present tense – if you say, for example, ” I will have a beautiful body”, “I will have an increased income”  then the Universe will match that vibration of NOT having  it NOW.  So keep your Affirmations in the present.  Also, keep them more general in nature – the word Abundance is great – it covers so much.

Try not to be too specific – the Universe works in mysterious ways and it’s not up to us to ask “How” something will be manifested – this, in fact, can hinder manifestations.  Trust that the energy will do its thing if YOU do your bit.  Very often the Universe manifests things in a way we could never have imagined so by focussing on the “hows” you are limiting your desire from coming to fruition.

 

Focus on what it is you want rather than what you don’t want and don’t use negatives in your Affirmations.  For example, the statement “I don’t have debts”  will not work because it gives its attention to the idea of debt and guess what?  yes – the Universe will match it with more debt.  If you say “I have more money ” – this is better but  you are still focussing on the idea that you don’t have much NOW or not as much as you want – there is still a sense of LACK.  Compare it to,

“I welcome money into my life.”  “I am prosperous.”  “I welcome prosperity into my life.”  “I welcome Abundance.”  You can progress to “I can easily pay my bills.”  “I am a magnet for money.”  etc

 

Why  Should We Repeat  Affirmations so many times?

What we’re actually doing here is reprogramming our subconscious minds which brings us onto the overlap between Affirmations and PSYCH K which is the amazing belief changing modality based on integrating the brain to accept new, positive beliefs and so releasing the existing, limiting and self sabotaging belief.  We program our minds from a very young age usually from our parents, teachers and other significant adults in our lives at the time.  We are totally unaware that we do it and for this reason we are often unaware that we are limiting ourselves with such beliefs.  Thought and therefore belief, is energy and, as always,  the Universe will match it. If you were told as a small child, for example, that you didn’t deserve to have something or you weren’t worthy of having something and you BELIEVED this – by continuing to believe this, your beliefs will make it true and the Universe will bring you more situations where you feel unworthy.  By installing statements (Affirmations) of “I am Worthy” and “I deserve…”  “I am loved..” etc the Universe will match this and give you situations whereby you can feel your worth and loved.  This can, and does, change people’s lives around as we build so much of our lives on our BELIEFS especially the beliefs we have about OURSELVES.

Installing new beliefs  is quicker with PSYCH K but we still encourage clients to repeat their new beliefs as often as possible to reinforce them.  We can’t spend our whole day practicing PSYCH K (a few sessions would be a good idea though!) but we can (and do) run thoughts through our heads all day………….it’s up to you to make them positive,

“Thoughts Become Things – Choose good ones” – Mike Dooley.

 

Which Affirmations Should I Use?    EXERCISE

So here’s the Exercise.  I have a long list of Affirmations here and I want you to slowly read them and acknowledge your FIRST thought response to each one.  If you can read it comfortably then there’s a chance you believe it and you can move on.  If your mind jumps to one or two things that contradict the statement then you could be nearly there but with some issues to clear up making this statement a good option for you to adopt.

Now if you repeat one and it gets really stuck in your throat – then that’s the one (or ones) you need to focus on the most.  They are the ones you NEED.  If they don’t resonate with you – then why not?  Do you want them to be TRUE?  If so write it down and start saying it – morning, noon and night 🙂

For those of you who can Self Muscle Test – repeat each statement and muscle test yourself – a positive response indicates that your sub conscious mind already believes the statement.  You can muscle test on each statement until you find one that tests negative.  That’s the one to work on.

 

The most powerful of all Affirmations

 

I love and accept myself completely

 

Health/Body

I am free to be happy and healthy

My body heals itself naturally and quickly

I choose to live a vibrant and healthy life

My mind, body and spirit are harmoniously balanced now

I lovingly nourish my physical body

I see beauty in all parts of my body

I love and accept my body as it is and as it changes

I now allow the healing energy of love to flow through me

 

Prosperity

Money is a wonderful tool that I use to create possibilities for me and for others

The universe is a friendly place and willingly gives me everything I need

I deserve to have all the money I need

I am proud of my results and I deserve my reward

It is ok to have more money than I need

It is ok to want to have money

I receive and accept money with love and gratitude

I allow myself to earn good money

 

 Personal

I am ready, willing and able to be the best me that I can be

I allow my visions and dreams to become reality

I have the ability to create my life as I want it to be

I love, appreciate and accept myself completely

It is easy for me to give love to others

It is easy for me to receive love from others

I am worthy of having an intimate and passionate relationship

I am able to maintain my individuality in my relationships

My Favourite Affirmations – enjoy them and see the change!

All my relationships are harmonious

I am deeply fulfilled by all that I do

Every experience is a success

I deserve the best and accept it now

I lovingly listen to my body’s messages

I am happy, healthy, whole, complete and secure

I express gratitude for all that is good in my life

Each day brings wonderful new surprises

Everything I need to know is revealed to me

Everything I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence

Life is a Joy and full of Love

I am healthy and full of energy

I am loving, lovable and loved

I prosper wherever I turn

I am changing and growing

I am an unlimited being, receiving unlimited abundance from an unlimited Source in unlimited ways.

 

For more information on Affirmations and other forms of Self Healing and Energy Healing please contact deborah@deborahjanesutton.com