Category Archives for Self Love

Why we need to love unkind people – The Bigger Picture

I had this quote (Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most) on the wall of my classroom for years in my primary school teaching days. When focusing on the school playground and its bullies, this quote was very effective.  When faced with an unkind comment, I encouraged the children to turn to the unkind speaker and give them a hug!  I think it was the embarrassment of the situation that stopped the young bullies in the end rather than seeing the error of their ways but either way, it was effective!
People realise now that most bullies are unhappy and inside they are hurting. They lack self love, love for the world around them and lack self-respect too. Most of us can take all this on board and let their comments go over our heads choosing to believe and understand that their comments are not really personal to us and that they say more about them than they do about us.
But where is the line here? How bad does the bullying have to be before we stop being so understanding? Is it when the bullying gets physical?  Or does it depend on the reaction of the person being bullied? Whether they are affected by it and to what extent?

In the clip below, Prince Ea takes this concept to the extreme with his comments and title on Why I Love Terrorists. Suddenly it doesn’t seem so easy to apply this “Be Kind to Unkind People” idea, eh?  although terrorists are surely just the playground bullies all grown up, no?

Prince Ea

What I’d like to do, though, is to explain how all this loving unkind people really works – it might help you react more lovingly to challenging situations in the future.

If you haven’t come across it before, I’d like to introduce you to Dr David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness.

 

The number relates to the frequency at which that particular emotion vibrates. So basically, negative emotions vibrate at lower frequencies than positive emotions, which is why releasing low vibrating trapped emotions is key to raising your vibrations. Obviously, we can feel a range of emotions but this relates to our overriding emotional state (or rather it’s the overall average of our emotions that determines our consciousness level). So which emotion on this chart best describes your feelings the majority of the time?  It gives us a good indication of what frequency your body is vibrating at (we can actually measure this with our muscle testing skills)
As we know, like attracts like. So, we attract experiences, people, situations and emotions that resonate with the same frequency as us. If we radiate anger energy we will attract anger energy. Again, that’s why we want to literally raise our vibrations as much as we can so we naturally attract a better quality of life in all areas.  Keep in mind that every moment of our day we are either moving towards health or sickness depending on the emotion we are feeling and that explains why it is so crucial to think – and feel – positively.

Right, here’s the really interesting bit – which I also found in Dr David Hawkins’ book Power vs Force. 
In 1994, when the book was first published, the overall average level of human consciousness stood at 207. I’d like to think it’s slightly higher than this by now. Human consciousness was dangling at below the 200 level (190) for many centuries before it suddenly rose up to 207 some time in the mid 1980s. For the world to stay at levels below 200 over a prolonged period of time would cause a great imbalance that would undoubtedly lead to the destruction of all humanity. The power of the few individuals at the top of the chart (ie: those with a higher frequency) counterbalances the weakness of the masses.

And here are the most interesting facts.
  • 85% of the human race calibrates below the critical level of 200 where their overriding emotion is negative. If you look at the world today, you can see this. Even a lot of do-gooders are angry, right?
  • 1 individual at level 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals below level 200
  • 1 individual at level 400 counterbalances 400,000 individuals below level 200
  • 1 individual at level 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals below level 200
  • 1 individual at level 600 counterbalances 10 million individuals below level 200
  • 1 individual at level 700 counterbalances 70 million individuals below level 200
  • When one’s consciousness falls below 200 at any given moment they start to lose power and thus grow weaker and more prone to being manipulated by one’s surroundings.
  • Everything calibrates at certain levels from weak to high including books, food, water, clothes, people, animals, buildings, cars, movies, sports, music etc.
  • A lot of music today calibrates at levels below 200. Hence it leads to behaviour associated with lower energy levels of consciousness.
  • Most films will weaken people who watch them by bringing their energy levels down below the 200 level of consciousness.

So, you can see now, how looking after yourself and raising your vibrations will raise your consciousness level and therefore counterbalance more people with a lower level frequency. This in turn will help raise the overall level of consciousness of the planet creating more world stability and peace. So this is how you owe it to world peace to do whatever you can to raise your own vibrations and make yourself feel as good as you can. Self- care not only feels good, but IS good for you, those around you and the whole planet.

This also explains why I refuse to watch cruelty to animal videos.  It’s not because I am a hypocrite and want to pretend it isn’t happening – that’s not the case at all.  But watching a heart breaking clip will only result in lowering my vibrations, filling my head with negative images and thoughts and how will that help the animals? Whatever I choose to do about animal cruelty will be more effective and helpful to them with my vibrations and consciousness level as high as it can be.

In addition to this, responding to bullies and other violent perpetrators with anger and revenge will not only result in lowering your vibrations but also result in lowering those of the planet as a whole. Sending love, however, will help raise both the offenders frequencies and those of the whole planet. See? After all, we are all connected, right?
This does not mean we are accepting, condoning or approving of violent behaviour – of course not – but love really is the answer here and sharing it with everyone, especially those who need it the most, really is the way forward. This becomes clear when you can see the bigger picture.
If you’d like to find out how you can actively raise your vibrations – get in touch to arrange your free 30 min consultation with me.
deborah@deborahjanesutton.com

Where does Happiness come from?

Where would you say happiness comes from? Are you happy? If so, where does your happiness come from? Many would say money played an important role in the creation of happiness. Although we often see images of poor children in poor countries playing happily in the streets. We also see, unfortunately too many times, wealthy children from wealthy countries unhappy, distracted by trivia and sometimes even suicidal.  So we can count money out as a factor causing or creating happiness.

I’m sure it’s got more to do with the poor kids playing outside in the fresh air, concerned with genuine and worthy tasks like collecting water for the family compared to the western world’s teenager stuck in their bedroom in a closed flat, in a polluted city playing violent games on their device……..etc. Extreme scenarios, I admit, but you get the picture.

Health will also be seen as a happiness generating factor for many of you and, yes, it is hard to feel happiness while in severe pain, I understand. However, pain aside, we can see from examples such as Nick Vujicic (https://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/) with his tag line “no arms, no legs, no worries” that physical health is certainly not the overriding factor to finding true happiness.

Some would cite Love as being relevant as to where happiness comes from and to some extent I have to agree.  The love of others is important as is loving others. But these are not as important as loving the self. Where does that come from? Loving the self? If you run an inner dialogue of self loathing with yourself then you clearly do not love yourself and are clearly not truly happy. Changing these negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones will help but many will say that’s easier said than done.  Thoughts are, therefore, an interesting topic.

So, before we explore the subject of happiness further, I would like to discuss thoughts. After all, happiness can be subjective, right? We may think we’re happy. Or we may think we’re not happy.  We may compare ourselves to others. But who can ever measure happiness anyway? How do you even know if you’re happy or not? Is there a scale of happiness?  How do we know how far up the scale we are or, more importantly, how high does the scale go and how can we get to the top of it?

Thinking is important, right? We all know we have to think positively.  So let’s start there. Our thoughts.  Where do they come from? Where do your thoughts come from? Think about it.

Our thoughts are such a massive part of who we are (and what we create) and they are so personal to us – so where do they come from?  The obvious knee jerk answer is that they come from our mind.  So, where is our mind?  Think about it.  Where is your mind?  We can lose it, we can change it, we can speak it and it can wander – but where is it? Some may say in our brains.  We know where our brains are.  Our brains are physical. Within our skulls. Our heads. Our craniums.

So, does a dead man (woman, human..) have a brain?  Yes, of course. Does he have a mind?  Does he have thoughts?  I think not.

Let’s take this dead man and compare him with a live body and ask a few more questions.

How does the live body see?  Through his eyes I hear you say. But the dead body also has eyes but he cannot see.

How does the live body hear? For the dead body has ears but cannot hear.  He has a mouth and tongue but cannot speak.

If I asked you to raise your hand in the air and then asked you how you managed to do that, you’ll probably say with the use of your muscles and yes,  you’d be partially correct but what about the dead body.  He has muscles too but cannot lift his arm.  He also has a heart, but cannot feel.

If I asked you where you get your energy from you’ll probably say “food” which, I guess, to a certain extent is true but the dead man has the remains of his last meal in his stomach yet he has no energy.

The dead man also has no intuition, inspiration, creativity, personality or dreams. He cannot make any decisions – negative or positive.

So what is the overriding difference between the live body and the dead body?

Physically, the only difference between the two bodies is that one is still breathing and the other one isn’t.  One is inhaling and exhaling and the other one isn’t. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?  Because one is still thinking, dreaming, inspiring, digesting, feeling, seeing, hearing, deciding, caring, loving……….being.

So, although the only difference between these two bodies is that one is breathing and the other one isn’t,  with that breath comes all the other differences: health, ideas, thoughts, intuition, dreams, love, joy, awareness, visions, consciousness, happiness, personality and oxygen. That’s why Yoga teachers, Energy Healers, Energy Psychologists and the like call it our Life Force energy and not just breath.

If our thoughts come to us through our breath, then so do our ideas, our decisions, our intuition, our visions, our positivity and our creativity. And from these come our choices, direction and subsequent success, right? All from the breath. This is our guidance. We follow the guidance we receive with each breath.  We follow the ideas and answers we get from our thoughts which come via the breath. When we want to clear our minds we go outside and breath more deeply. We go to the sea to feel healthier. We all feel better having spent time in nature and fresh air.  We know all this but most of us never really acknowledge that the Native American Indians and Bob Dylan had it so sussed. “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind!” This is how our life force energy comes to us: through the energy we breath (and the energy we take in through our chakras but that’s another story!) So our energy is ultimately coming from the Universe – consciousness itself.  It creates our connection with Source Energy. The Divine. The Creator. Whatever you want to call it. This is where we get our guidance. Following our guidance in the form of ideas and intuition (and for some in the form of more direct communication from their guides) leads us to being better able to creatively fulfil our life purpose. Our gifts and life purpose are usually things we feel passionate about. Using our gifts and fulfilling our life purpose, therefore, makes us feel good. It raises our vibrations. Brings us success. And makes us happy!

The Life Force Energy is also (full of) love. It is this energy of love that heals the body. It detoxifies our cells. We have seen this with Dr Masaru Emoto’s work on Water Crystals (http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html) His work shows how the energy of love and gratitude, among other positive energies, can cleanse, purify and detoxify water molecules.  Let’s not forget that we are 70% water and everything is energy, right? So we can also use the energy of love, gratitude, appreciation etc to heal ourselves.  The Life Force Energy is full of love. Visualising this love entering our bodies with every inhale is so simple yet so powerful.  The sub conscious mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination so if you imagine the healing, it will become your reality.  After all, images in a horror film can make us scared. Images of a sexual content can make people feel sexy. So images of your life force energy healing you with love can, quite literally, heal you with love!

We also use the breath to help us meditate. Focusing on our breath helps us clear the mind, relax the body and go within where we can find any amount of peace and joy.

The breath also brings oxygen to areas that need it. It is well documented that cancer cells thrive in deoxygenated environments and they do not multiply in well oxygenated environments. Why is this? I am not a doctor and don’t claim to be. I am not qualified in conventional medicine and don’t purport to be. I’m just making the point that our breath needs our respect. More than we give it. Our breath is so much more important than we realise. Our breath brings with it our healing.

This also explains why Pranayama (Breathing Techniques) is such a major part of Yoga and one of the 8 limbs of Yoga according to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. Pranayama uses the breath to control the body – it’s relaxation, health, fitness, balance and ability to meditate. Powerful stuff!

Ultimately, it is so simple and so easy to change so much of what we perceive as wrong in our lives. Most people think their feelings and emotions affect their breathing but we can turn this around and see that our breathing can affect our feelings and emotions. That’s a better concept, don’t you think?  More empowering. It gives us more control over our feelings and emotions. We can breathe ourselves to happiness!

We should point out here too, I guess, that we, as humans, can go weeks without food, we can go days without water but we can go only a few minutes without breathing. Our breath is more than just our oxygen. And it does more than just keep us alive. As we have seen, it is our whole life and the basis for everything in it. Our breath is our Soul and, as such, it is the basis of who we are and who we want to be. Who we can be. Most importantly, our breath provides us with everything we need: our health, our guidance and our happiness.

So go on and breathe yourself to Happiness!

4 Ways you can practice and benefit from Yoga without getting up!

In my attempts to encourage people to take up Yoga, I hear so many crazy excuses as to why they (think they) can’t, from “I can’t sit on the floor” to “I haven’t got time” to “My shoulder/knee/back/foot hurts” to simply and, more honestly, “I can’t be bothered.” Well, today, I’m here to tell you that you can STILL practice Yoga despite all of the above excuses!
According to the Sacred Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, there are 8 limbs to Yoga and the physical postures, known as “Asanas” are only one of the 8 limbs.  So, I’ve picked (or adapted) some of the other 7 limbs for you to try. Can I point out too, please, that they can all be done anywhere and everywhere – so no excuses!

As Yoga is essentially a preparation for meditation, the “limbs” begin with preparing ourselves in some way and then our surroundings and then they focus on the physical body (asanas) and later moving into the breath (pranayama) and then the last few limbs relate to the different stages of meditation and connection. For any experienced Yogis out there, I apologise for the simplification I am about to provide but my aim here is to show those new to the practice how we can easily benefit from other aspects of Yoga practice.

1. Yama

Yama is the first limb and is broken down into 5 smaller sections, which basically relate to being a good person.  So the first way is, in fact, 5 ways! The first being Ahimsa which is the practicing of non-violence.  Sounds easy, eh? I’m sure you are not physically violent in nature but it also refers to our thoughts and not just our deeds – and beating yourself up with your inner talk is definitely not Ahimsa. So back to those positive affirmations about self love here – to help you avoid any negative thoughts about yourself or others.

Other Yamas include Satya which is about being honest with yourself and others and Asteya which translates as non-stealing.  When we think of stealing we easily relate the word to possessions and money but it can mean so much more than that. Bullies steal the confidence and self esteem of their victims, chronic complainers steal energy from their listeners, manipulators take what is not readily given to them.

If you take something which is not willingly given to you, then you are not practicing Asteya.
Brahmacharya is usually translated as continence meaning to “hold in” and relates to conserving your energy (in all its forms) and only directing it where it is needed to go. It includes self-control and also not wasting time and effort.  The last Yama is Aparigraha which translates as non-covetness and relates to not being greedy and taking only what you need at that time.
On reflection, to fully live by these Yamas is not as easy as it initially sounds but just making progress in these 5 areas of life can make a huge difference to our health and happiness. After all, it’s all about the energy – and everything is energy, right?

2. Niyama

This is the second limb of Yoga and also breaks down into 5 sections but, don’t worry, we’re not going to go through all of them.  I am only focusing on the areas of Yoga you can practice when it’s too hot to do anything else or you are feeling too lazy to do anything else!  So I am just picking the fourth Niyama today which is Svadhyaya. Svadhyaya refers to studying scriptures and self study but can be related to everyday life as reading/listening to inspiring words and writing some sort of journal or gratitude list. There’s plenty on the internet these days to inspire us so just set the intention to be inspired and start surfing!  Writing freely is also a great way to release “stuff” and gratitude lists are an excellent way to help us see what we have and what we desire and basically where we’re at (self-study). Reading back over these journals is a great way to acknowledge your progress especially on those days when you need a little extra encouragement.

3.  Pranayama

This is the breathing limb!  Prana is often translated simply as “breath” but it is SO much more than that so I prefer to use the term “life force energy”. The word yama translates as control or technique so together pranayama relates to the control and techniques used in breathing in the life force energy. There are so many different techniques to help us focus on inhaling prana (breathing) but, don’t worry, I’ll just include my favourites here.

Ujjayi

This is the deep breath, often accompanied by a raspy sound from the back of the throat, which concentrates on taking the breath all the way down to the belly and allowing the belly to comfortably expand with the inhale and relax with the exhale.  Most people when taking a deep breath sub consciously hold their bellies in and extend their chests. Try it and see if you do the same. This subconscious act deprives the lower abdomen of receiving its full quota of vital life force energy. By allowing the breath to come all the way down and by not worrying about the belly expanding as far as it naturally wants to you can really nourish this lower abdominal area (sacral chakra). This is particularly healing for any digestive or gynaecological problems. Try it and see – let me know how you get on with it.

Nadi-Shodhana

This is one of my favourites and works with balancing the right and left sides of the body by balancing the prana flow through the right and then left nostrils in turn. Block one nostril and inhale slowly (allowing the belly to expand), hold for a second or two, and then block that nostril, unblock the other nostril and exhale slowly. Inhale again through the same nostril that you just exhaled from and hold for a second or two before exhaling out of the other nostril. Repeat for as long as is comfortable for you.

This balances our feminine and masculine energies, our ida and pingala, our yin and yang – whatever language you prefer!  By the way, this practice is excellent for easing menstrual and menopausal symptoms!

Kapalabhati – often called fire breath.

This techniques takes some practice but is so worth it.  We focus on our exhale and almost force the breath out using our abdominal muscles to ensure we have exhaled completely. Allow the inhalation to happen naturally before focusing on the next exhale.  With practice you can get faster with this breathing pattern and it’s super energising!

4.  Meditation 

As stated earlier, the last 4 “limbs” of Yoga all relate to Meditation or the preparation of meditation. Pratyahara refers to the withdrawal of our senses as we begin to focus within.  This is the aspect of Yoga that allows monks to meditate for days on end without moving, eating or drinking.  It focuses on detaching from the physical body and therefore the  physical senses. Needless to say it would take a life time or two to master this one.  On our Yoga teacher training course, we practiced Yoga a few times in the park with an army of flies that were determined to distract us – they gave us the perfect opportunity to practice our pratyahara. The deeper into meditation we went the less these flies could bother us!
Dharana refers to the concentraion stage of the process and Dhyana is the actual meditation before you get to Samadhi which Google translates as “a state of intense concentration achieved through meditation. In yoga this is regarded as the final stage, at which union with the divine is reached (before or at death).”  This is where most of us struggle with our Yoga practice so let’s bring it back to a level we can all relate to.
For those of you who read my first book Heal yourself to Happiness, you will know I dedicated a whole section to the topic of meditation.  Meditation simplified, in my opinion, just means putting your conscious mind to one side for a while and letting the subconscious come to the fore. We do this naturally without thinking so many times during the day yet we don’t realise this is the beginning of meditating. Do you ever “drift off” in thought while driving a familiar route alone? Or while doing the dishes?  It’s like day dreaming. That moment just before you fall asleep or that moment you awaken.  We often experience this relaxation of the conscious mind during exercise, painting, doing crafts, puzzles, gardening, cooking……….in fact, usually when we’re doing something we love that we find relaxing. That is the feeling we want to create which is why it’s so important to spend time relaxing and doing the things you love. If you can nurture this feeling and deepen it then you’re well on your way to meditating.  This is when you get all your bright ideas, creativity, inspiration, intuition and guidance for this is when your spirit guides can communicate with you more clearly.  This is why meditating is so healing because it gives you the answers you need through your own intuition. Your own inner guidance system. Perfect!
So there you have it.  Four ways you can practice Yoga without even getting up!  Let me know how you get on.
Love and Blessings
xx

Top Ten Steps to Self-Love – How many do you do?

Self Love is such an integral part of our health and happiness and we should take every opportunity  to focus upon our Self Love care.  What do you do to nurture love for yourself?

Check out my Top Ten Steps to Self Love – how many do you do regularly?

1. Repeat Self Love affirmations.

If the classic “I love and accept myself completely” doesn’t resonate with you yet then why not try “I’m willing to love and accept myself” or “I am lovable” or “I deserve to be loved”.  Find one that feels comfortable for you. Repeat it morning, noon and night and in no time you’ll be more comfortable with “I love and accept myself completely”.  If you can muscle test yourself, muscle test each affirmation to see how much your subconscious really believes it…………….and keep going. Seriously the most healing thing you could do for yourself.

2. Give gratitude

Give gratitude for all the things in your life that you love. Write a list of all the things you love about your life, your job, your friends, your family, your home, your pets, your health etc! Keep this going until you feel “fluent” in pouring out your love.  Then progress to writing a list of all the things you love about yourself. No one is going to read it so just go with it – even if the things you are writing are not strictly true about yourself – maybe they are your desires – but write them anyway, as if you really loved those aspects of yourself already – as if they were fact – keep it going…..you’ll soon see a difference.

3. Do the Thing that Makes your Heart Sing

It always makes us feel good – about life and about ourselves. That sense of excitement in whatever our passionate activity is, is a display of our connection to Source. This is where you can tap into the most LOVE.

“Excitement is the physical translation of the vibrational resonance that is your true core, natural being.”
Abraham Hicks

4. Have a good cry! 

Crying is one of the best ways to release negative trapped emotions that could be blocking you from loving yourself. Subconscious (or conscious) feelings of unworthiness can often sabotage our Self Love. Sometimes we can’t put our finger on exactly how we feel or why we want to cry but no worries – better out than in!  I always think it’s better not to hold tears in – rather stay mindful of releasing the resistance to your greatness and celebrate it. Sometimes we can get the urge to cry when we’re on our own, walking in nature or exercising – don’t you find? It’s your body’s way of letting you know you have something to release – so let it out!

5. Abhyanga

Abhyanga is a nurturing Ayurvedic massage with warm oils.  It can be done by another or by yourself.  It’s this self massage infused with love that really works wonders on building one’s Self Love. Using your favourite aromas and essential oils (not necessarily warm as that would make it an even longer process that you’ll find even easier to avoid – true, eh?) massage your body slowly and lovingly remembering to give gratitude and love to each body part as you go. Just allowing yourself the time to do such acts of Self Love sends a signal to your subconscious that you are worthy and deserving which is healing in itself.

 

6. Get a Pet.

Obviously only if you are in a position to take responsibility for one.  Otherwise I’m sure you could “borrow” one occasionally. See how loyal pets are – especially dogs. They will loveyou unconditionally. They are always so pleased and excited to see you. They readily forgive you for any mistakes you make. They don’t judge you. They are not as held back by negative emotions as we are.  They love and accept you exactly as you are. If a dog can do all of this – then surely you can too?

7.  Yoga – of course!

Ask anyone who practices Yoga regularly how it has helped their self love and you’ll hear an inspirational transformation story for sure! Yoga gives us health AND happiness and it’s always easier to love ourselves when we’re healthy and happy.

8. Compliment yourself.

Say lovely things to and about yourself – even if the compliments are half-hearted in the beginning it will get you in the energy flow of appreciating different aspects of yourself. It’s all about that energy flow!

9. Love your Inner Child.

Inner Child Work is where we find that little child from our past who is still within us, and give him/her all the love they need.  We pick up so many blocks to Self Love when those we expect and hope to get love from let us down or for whatever reason, we don’t feel the love they are trying to give us. Parents can only do what they are capable of doing at the time and they, too, have their own issues going on. Maybe just turning up late to pick you up from school made you feel “unloved” – these things can be so innocent.
We are all made of pure love energy underneath which is why we seek to attract pure love energy.  We go looking for love from other people. But the secret is not to look for love from others but to provide it for ourselves. If we can provide ourselves with the love our subconscious so desperately craves then we can enjoy love from others as an added bonus!
Close your eyes (in meditation) and visualise yourself at a time in your life when you felt unloved and then visualise yourself going up to your younger self and wrapping your arms around them and telling them how special they are and how much they are loved. If done seriously, it can be quite emotional, but it is so, so powerful and very, very healing. And, of course, it isn’t always the little child within us that needs a hug. The teenager, young adult and grown adult within you will also appreciate a squeeze and hug of pure love, no doubt.

10. Forgiveness.  

There is no greater act of Self Love than Forgiving yourself and others. Easier said than done I know and if you are having problems with this healing concept, I suggest you start with repeating and writing affirmations such as,
“I am willing to forgive myself and others. I set the past free.”

 

Have I missed any?  What are your Self Love tips – as always, I would love to hear from you.

Need help getting started on all of this?  For Self Healing Coaching and/or Energy Healing get in touch deborah@deborahjanesutton.com or come and visit one of our Heal yourself to Happiness Retreats

Retreats

Love and Blessings

xx

3 Essential Steps to Self-Healing

1) Love Yourself

I know this will either make you smile or cringe, right? Truly loving yourself is not easy and certainly not something you can achieve overnight and it’s not easy to “measure”. Some of you reading this may not even know if you truly love yourself or not. The best guideline is by looking into a mirror – can you look straight into your own eyes and say “I love you (your name)” ? Try it and you will probably respond in one of the following ways:

cringing big time
laughing out loud
smiling broadly
wanting to cry

Needless to say, smiling broadly is the one that shows that you DO love yourself so if you responded this way – well done – congratulations!

The other 3 answers show that you’re either not quite there or far from it. The best and pioneering teacher for learning to love yourself is, of course, the lovely Louise Hay. Reading her book “You Can Heal Your Life” is a must (or watching the film of the same name) – there’s plenty of Mirror work and Affirmations.

The truth is that if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to truly love you? And if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you truly love anyone else? Many of us have limiting and sabotaging sub conscious beliefs, for example, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worth loving”, so being able to release these and replace them with positive statements, for example, “I am worthy”, “I love and accept myself as I am”, “I am loving, lovable and loved”, is essential. Repeating Affirmations is definitely an effective way to do this even if the words do get stuck in your throat at first but they do take time. PSYCH K, on the other hand, is an amazing tool whereby we can literally change such limiting beliefs that do not serve us.

10 ways to become more positive (2)

2) Giving Gratitude

This is the one that often goes in one ear and out the other. Stop – think about it. I mean REALLY giving gratitude. I started “counting my blessings” a few years ago by just acknowledging my mother, sister and son in my life each day as I passed the wind chime in the hallway on my way out every morning. To be honest I didn’t think much about it but slowly over time I added people, then later things to the list of blessings to be counted. Then I started writing them down in a little notebook – the more I did this, the more the Universe gave me to be grateful for. It’s all about matching vibrations. If you complain and send out the negative vibrations of complaining, the Universe will match it by giving you more things to complain about. If you send out the positive vibrations of Gratitude – Like attracts Like – it’s Physics! The Universe has to match it and you will just keep getting more and more things to be grateful for. I’ve now got notebooks and journals full of my blessings – I find a quiet spot and a quiet moment – each page headed with the date and Today I am Grateful for: – the list goes on and on. Use your senses – what can you SEE that you’re grateful for? What can you SMELL? What can you HEAR? How do you FEEL? If you’re poorly or sick be grateful for the bits of you that are healthy. If you’re not happy with your body, be grateful for the bits you ARE happy with. Find SOMETHING to be grateful for……..the Universe will take it from there!

 

3) Learn to Muscle Test Yourself

This is such an amazing tool to have – being able to tap into your subconscious mind to find out exactly what your body wants or needs in order to heal itself!

 

Everything is Energy – It’s Physics again! Energies (thoughts, emotions, food, substances, beliefs, etc) that are GOOD for us, and that our bodies NEED, make our bodies stronger and this is felt by our muscles literally getting stronger. The Energies from substances that our bodies DON’T want (try it with cigarettes or chocolate!!) will make our muscles weaker. If you are a beginner at this try The Sway test first. Stand up straight, relax and focus on something you love, that makes you feel good. Think of the word LOVE and your body will gently sway forwards. Now, change your thoughts to something negative – a violent event in your life or a war scene and the word HATE – see how your body reacts to the negativity. Does it sway backwards this time?

Muscle testing does take some practice and there are many different ways to test your muscle strength. My favourite is known as the Ring in Ring method and involves placing your fingers together as in the photo below and gently trying to pull them apart.

Practice by saying a true statement, for example, “My Name is ________” and feel the strength of your fingers. Now say a false name and feel how your fingers go weaker. It may feel just like a subtle difference at first – but a significant one. Now you can try it with some foods – try obviously bad foods first. Place chocolate, for example, on your chest (I stick things down my cleevage!) muscle test and acknowledge the strength of your muscles. Now try again with a piece of fruit. Can you FEEL the difference? Remember, we are just trying to measure the strength of our muscles to establish the difference between a positive and negative response. We are not trying to break through the fingers on purpose! We are acknowledging the difference in our muscle strength between a positive and negative response.

Every BODY is different and we can all develop food intolerances when we’re stressed so what’s good for one person may not be good for another. If you ONLY eat foods that you test POSITIVE for, your BODY will THANK YOU by making you FEEL SO much BETTER!

This skill is invaluable especially in today’s world of processed foods when, to be honest, we don’t really know what we’re eating!

FOOD is our MEDICINE and equally in today’s world FOOD is our POISON. Now you can self medicate on the RIGHT foods for YOUR body.

3 essential steps to self healing

For more information on any of the above, or other Self Healing techniques, please email me at deborah@deborahjanesutton.com.