Understanding and Healing your Difficult Relationships

Why is it that those closest to us seem to push our buttons more easily?

Why do we instantly “click” with some people and not others?

Why do we repeat the same issues with the same people again and again?

Are you being triggered and easily wound up by those around you?

You may see these difficult relationships as a bad thing, but actually they are for your own benefit.

When you understand the bigger picture and expand your beliefs, you can see that these triggers are, in fact, something to be grateful for. They are little indicators of where to focus your attention for the sake of your own self-realisation and spiritual growth.

Self-realisation is key here. We came here to express our true nature. We came here to understand who we really are at Soul level. We came here to awaken. We also agreed to play roles for each other. Out of love. Some people choose to play loving, supporting roles to help you grow. However, others, agreed to play the “bad” guys and trigger you for the sole purpose of highlighting areas of growth within you.

You see, life is a mirror. You may have heard this before and it is not an easy concept to get your head around but that doesn’t make it any less true! It’s all about YOU. And all manifestations around you including those that trigger you are constantly reflecting back to you your own beliefs.  This is why positive thinking is so important. If you believe that the Universe is a safe and wonderful place then for you it will be. If you think the Universe is a dangerous and unloving place, then for you it will be. The reflection is exact. Like the mirror in the bathroom. We don’t always like what we see, right?

Our whole life experiences are stored energetically in the cells of our body and there are aspects of ourselves we don’t much care for, right? It is these aspects that will be reflected back to us in the form of difficult people. When you begin to love yourself, you find that more people around you become loving. The more you love yourself, the more loving those around you become. It’s just a reflection. This is why loving yourself is so life changing.

It is easy to have resistance to the aspects of ourselves we don’t like. It is also easy to be in denial of our shadow side. Peace, however, lies in the acknowledgment of all aspects of Self.

Understanding that difficult people are just seeing the world differently to you, helps too. Everyone is on a spiritual journey with some people more conscious than others and there’s a whole range of beliefs being created and followed along the way. Difficult people haven’t come here to make your life more difficult. They are just living their own experience. And the difficult people closest to you agreed to play the role to help you experience what you chose to experience here.  If you chose to experience worthiness, for example, there are souls who incarnated with you to help you by treating you badly in order to help you wake up to the fact that you are worth more. Everything has a positive and negative polarity. We can learn a lot about happiness by not having it. We can learn a lot about empowerment by feeling powerless. It is up to us to make the right choices in life to experience the positive polarity of the things we chose to experience. This is why so many people, on reflection, can find love, forgiveness and even gratitude for those who harmed them in some way. For it was those experiences that woke them up to the understanding of their self-love, worth and deserving of better.

We reap what we sow. Karma exists. People who view themselves as victims often say to me, but I never hurt anyone so why was I victimised this way?  But we have experienced numerous lives and we haven’t always been nice!!  Even in this life, can you be so sure that as a child you never victimised anyone? Rather than spend your energy in denial of these truths, why not spend your energy reflecting what it is within you, that you are not accepting about yourself.

To help with this inner, self-realisation work I highly recommend The Work of Byron Katie www.thework.com

With four simple questions, your understanding of the difficult relationships in your life can not only be seen but also turned around.  This process is not for the faint hearted. It’s not easy to see unpleasant aspects of yourself arise but there is no judgement. No blame. No fault. There is no right or wrong. Just a deeper understanding of ‘what is’ that leads to deeper awareness, expanded consciousness and greater love. Love of self and love for others of course!

Working through the relationships or aspects of relationships that trigger you most, in this way is life changing. Understanding the role you chose to play in each others lives brings an energy of peace, acceptance, forgiveness and deeper love.

 

For more information on how you can heal the relationships in your life or to book your healing/coaching session please get in touch.

deborah@deborahjanesutton.com

 

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