I’ve written recently about the importance of questioning our beliefs. I am frequently amazed at how deep rooted our beliefs actually run within us. One of the beliefs that people seem to struggle with is the concept that every relationship in our life is a reflection of ourselves. Each person we encounter is reflecting back to us aspects of ourselves. Understanding this concept can be used as a learning and self-realisation process which can bring around amazing transformation and healing. This has become so clear to me lately, and has helped me find so much joy, peace and gratitude in so many areas of my life, on so many levels that I just had to share!
The more we learn to love ourselves, the more we find ourselves surrounded by loving people. Of course, this reality becomes so clear when we realise these loving souls are just reflecting our loving nature back to us. It’s all about self-love!!
The people that trigger us and push our buttons are in our life for the sole purpose of helping us see and acknowledge aspects of ourselves that we do not love. They help us see where we need healing.
Instead of getting angry, frustrated and irritated by them – seeing the bigger picture allows us to feel gratitude towards them as we take on board the valuable lesson within their difficult behaviour.
What if we could take this one step further and apply it to other relationships we have in life…………..
Like, for example, our relationship with money!
What if our financial situation was merely just a reflection of our beliefs around money?
Of course it is. Suddenly it all makes sense, right?
Money, like everything else manifested in this physical world, is just energy and its presence or absence in our life, like everything else, is created through our own thoughts and beliefs. And as with people in our lives, we have stories about money too. Lots of stories about money. And they are just that – stories!! Not real. Not true and not relevant. Only thoughts that don’t serve us. Thoughts that we would feel a whole lot better not having!
If you believe you can’t afford something – you will be right! The words “Can’t afford” are energetically really harsh. Remember you are affirming your intentions with your words at all times. Instead you could say things like, “I will buy it another time” or “I don’t need whatever it is today” rather than “I can’t afford it”. Think about the emotions within you that come up when you think and say the words “I can’t afford it”. How does saying these words make you feel? What other thoughts pop into your head when you say the words “I can’t afford it”? Is there some resentment, bitterness or even anger? Is there some part of you giving your power away and viewing yourself as some sort of financial victim?
It’s not about whether you can afford something or not. It’s about the emotions and thoughts you attach to not being able to afford something that do the damage. From an energy point of view, it is the emotions and thoughts around money that are keeping you from having more of it.
If you think people around you are greedy with their money – it will be a reflection of an aspect of yourself. If you feel that people around you are stingy, it, too, will be a reflection of some aspect of yourself on one level or another. Whatever uncomfortable feelings and thoughts you have about money, and other people and their money, will be a reflection. A sign that it is time for some financial healing as in releasing the fears, shame, guilt and hatred, for example, you feel towards money and/or the people that have it.
If you haven’t read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I strongly recommend that you do. Understanding we only have the present moment – I mean really getting to grips with that reality, is life changing. If you are going to change your relationship with money, you have to do it in this moment because there is only ever this moment. There is no future. Tomorrow never comes. The future is always just a thought. We always think we don’t have enough money but that’s usually just because we never want to spend ALL we have. Because of thoughts and stories about needing it for “tomorrow”.
Haven’t you ever noticed that, in fact, you always have enough? You always have enough for what you need? If you follow your intuition when spending and stop all the negative talk in your head about money and not having enough – you will see, in this moment – and that’s all we ever have – this present moment – you have everything you need. In fact, I would go as far as to say, you probably have, right now, MORE than you need.
“Galore, galore, I have everything I need and more”
So let’s say you have (only) €200 in your bank account. I put the word “only” in brackets because for most people on the planet today, that is a fortune!! I read somewhere recently that if you have $3000 or more in savings, you are in the top 10% wealthiest people on the planet right now! Just saying!
Anyway, back to your €200. Would you spend €20 on a massage? Or a hair do? Or whatever else makes you feel good? Most people say no, they wouldn’t. When I ask why, they simply say, because I’ve only got €200! But in reality, you can not only afford the massage, hair do or whatever, but you can afford it 10 times over. You actually have 10 x more money than you need!!
As with healing any past trauma in life – it’s not about changing the events, it’s all about changing the emotions you have attached to those events. It’s the emotions that cause damage in the body. It’s the emotions that attract more of the same to you. It is the emotions that you need to change or release. It is the same with healing your money!
Fear and Love cannot co-exist. Fear is the absence of Love. If you feel fear when looking at your bank account, that fear will attract more of the same to you. If you can detach from the fear you feel when looking at your bank account or when talking about money and nurture a sense of gratitude for all that you do have instead, you will be well on the road to healing your financial situation and your relationship with money.
If you want someone to love you, first love yourself. Think of money as love. If you want to receive it, you need to give it. And one of the best investments is to spend it on yourself. You are not giving the money to yourself directly of course. You are giving the money to a charity, or the hairdresser, massage therapist, the online course you’re interested in, the shop keeper……………you are supporting someone else and displaying a love for yourself. Win win. If you want the Universe to give you more money, spend more on yourself! Money can’t flow in if money doesn’t flow out!
If you want a guideline for understanding when you are spending and investing money wisely and when you are wasting money – I say this: consider who is benefitting from your purchase. If the purchase enables you to give more to others in some way then it is a wise investment. If the purchase is something that really makes your heart sing then it is a wise investment. If the purchase raises your vibrations and, in turn, the vibrations of those around you then it is a wise investment. If your purchase is in the highest interest and benefit of all then it is a wise investment. I am not suggesting you spend more money than you have in your bank account! All of this is within reason of course.Your intuition will guide you on this.
Play this game with yourself. Everytime you get a bill or an invoice, catch yourself before fear and negative emotions flow through you. Instead, express gratitude that you have the means to pay for it. Genuinely. Fill up with the energy of gratitude. See what happens.
Let me know how you get on.
Why is it that those closest to us seem to push our buttons more easily?
Why do we instantly “click” with some people and not others?
Why do we repeat the same issues with the same people again and again?
Are you being triggered and easily wound up by those around you?
You may see these difficult relationships as a bad thing, but believe me, they are for your own benefit.
When you understand the bigger picture and expand your beliefs, you can see that these triggers are, in fact, something to be grateful for. They are little indicators of where to focus your attention for the sake of your own self-realisation and spiritual growth.
Self-realisation is key here. We came here to express our true nature. We came here to understand who we really are at Soul level. We came here to awaken. We also agreed to play roles for each other. Out of love. Some people choose to play loving, supporting roles to help you grow. However, others, agreed to play the “bad” guys and trigger you for the sole purpose of highlighting areas of growth within you.
You see, life is a mirror. You may have heard this before and it is not an easy concept to get your head around but that doesn’t make it any less true! It’s all about YOU. And all manifestations around you including those that trigger you are constantly reflecting back to you your own beliefs. This is why positive thinking is so important. If you believe that the Universe is a safe and wonderful place then for you it will be. If you think the Universe is a dangerous and unloving place, then for you if will be. The reflection is exact. Like the mirror in the bathroom. We don’t always like what we see, right?
Our whole life experiences are stored energetically in the cells of our body and there are aspects of ourselves we don’t much care for, right? It is these aspects that will be reflected back to us in the form of difficult people. When you begin to love yourself, you find that more people around you become loving. The more you love yourself, the more loving those around you become. It’s just a reflection. This is why loving yourself is so life changing.
It is easy to have resistance to the aspects of ourselves we don’t like. It is also easy to be in denial of our shadow side. Peace, however, lies in the acknowledgment of all aspects of Self.
Understanding that difficult people are just seeing the world differently to you, helps too. Everyone is on a spiritual journey with some people more conscious than others and there’s a whole range of beliefs being created and followed along the way. Difficult people haven’t come here to make your life more difficult. They are just living their own experience. And the difficult people closest to you agreed to play the role to help you experience what you chose to experience here. If you chose to experience worthiness, for example, there are souls who incarnated with you to help you by treating you badly in order to help you wake up to the fact that you are worth more. Everything has a positive and negative polarity. We can learn a lot about happiness by not having it. We can learn a lot about empowerment by feeling powerless. It is up to us to make the right choices in life to experience the positive polarity of the things we chose to experience. This is why so many people, on reflection, can find love, forgiveness and even gratitude for those who harmed them in some way. For it was those experiences that woke them up to the understanding of their self-love, worth and deserving of better.
We reap what we sow. Karma exists. People who view themselves as victims often say to me, but I never hurt anyone so why was I victimised this way? But we have experienced numerous lives and we haven’t always been nice!! Even in this life, can you be so sure that as a child you never victimised anyone? Rather than spend your energy in denial of these truths, why not spend your energy reflecting what it is within you, that you are not accepting about yourself.
To help with this inner, self-realisation work I highly recommend The Work of Byron Katie www.thework.com
With four simple questions, your understanding of the difficult relationships in your life can not only be seen but also turned around. This process is not for the faint hearted. It’s not easy to see unpleasant aspects of yourself arise but there is no judgement. No blame. No fault. There is no right or wrong. Just a deeper understanding of what is that leads to deeper awareness, expanded consciousness and greater love. Love of self and love for others of course!
Working through the relationships or aspects of relationships that trigger you most, in this way is life changing. Understanding the role you chose to play in each others lives brings an energy of peace, acceptance, forgiveness and deeper love.
For more information on how you can heal the relationships in your life or to book your healing/coaching session please get in touch.
Only by retreating from your present life and environment,
including all the people you mix with on a regular basis, can you really
reflect upon which aspects of your life, and which people in it, are truly
serving you and which are not.
Without the influence of outside energies, you can better
get a sense of who you are and what you want out of life, as well as, who and
what may be holding you back.
Time to yourself, with none of the usual worries, routines or concerns, allows you to relax and soothe the mind, body and soul.
“Villa Rosa is nestled in the quaint village of Barraca d’Aigues Vives, Valencia. The villa has gorgeous 360-degree views. The pool looks directly upon the mountains and the terrace has sunrise and sunset views”
Michelle Archer, Calgary, Canada
As a spiritual being having a human experience, you came
here to express your true self at Soul level within your human existence. All
Retreat guests receive a FREE Soul Profile reading which helps you identify the
true nature of your Soul and how you can best express this in your everyday
life. The more channels we find to express who we are at Soul level, the
greater our abundance – and that means more love, health, wealth and happiness!
“I would really recommend this retreat if you want to connect more to yourself, your truth and your soul”
Olivia, Yoga Teacher, UK
Learning to love and accept yourself completely is the
greatest gift you can give yourself. It really is the pivotal point of the Retreat.
With simple yet effective energy healing methods, guests can release whatever energy is stopping them from loving themselves until they are energetically in alignment with the energy of self-love. The process is
different for everyone, but leaves guests with a joy filled heart and an eagerness to get on with sharing their new-found love and purpose with the world!
“I can highly recommend Deborah`s Heal yourself to Happiness Retreat to anyone looking for more positivity and (self-)love in their lives”
Anna Burchell, Yoga Teacher, Germany
Learning to release your own trapped emotions using The
Emotion Code, and being able to muscle test yourself and others, is a
life-changing skill. In addition to this, you learn other skills, concepts
and perspectives that help you utilise and optimise your life force energy,
giving you more control over your own health. These everyday skills will truly
enhance your daily life. All Retreat guests receive a FREE Heart Wall release
before arrival. This releases any blocks to receiving that you may be hanging
onto and allows you to fully open your heart to the healing energy of Love!
“Thank you so much for this life-changing experience!”
Alicia Campbell, Alberta, Canada
With over 500 hours of Yoga Therapy Teacher Training, I can
help you create your own personal yoga routine to serve your specific needs on
a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. Maybe your physical body
craves more movement, flexibility, balance and strength or perhaps your mind
needs calming. Or maybe you need to tap into and connect with Source, where you
can express devotion and deepen your journey within. Whether you are an
absolute beginner, or a Yoga teacher yourself, you can learn how to add meaning
and healing to your Yoga practice.
“The Sunrise Yoga felt like a spiritual awakening every day…..Deborah is a FABULOUS Yoga instructor”
Wendy Sites, Chicago, USA
“Deborah’s Yoga teachings have significantly improved my practice”
Michelle Archer, Calgary, Canada
“Your Yoga made me so intensely happy”
Else Van der Velden, Holland
Many people shy away from Meditation, not really understanding what it is or what it entails. Alternatively, many guests are already on their healing paths and enjoy improving their meditation and self-healing practices. Either way, I tailor make the meditation sessions for your needs so, regardless of where you are on your journey, you can access valuable guidance, healing and intuition from within you!
“The atmosphere was spiritual, uplifting, relaxing and non-judgemental and provided a great space to look within and heal the spirit, mind and body.”
Olivia, Yoga Teacher, UK
Enjoy the simplicity that can be found in the beautiful
Spanish countryside. We are surrounded by stunning mountain views, orange
groves and (usually) blue skies. After all this healing and emotional release
Retreat guests can look forward to a fun day out! We take a trip to the
beautiful Santa Maria monastery in the picturesque village of
Simat-de-la-Valldigna. We visit the local street market in Tavernes before
making our way to the unspoilt, stretch of sandy beach at Tavernes Playa. A
perfect opportunity to explore, share, embrace the fresh sea air and let your
new-found love shine!
Last, but by no means least, Robert is an amazing cook and
provides Retreat guests with a warm, cooked meal each evening full of healing
ingredients, love and local produce where possible. Breakfast and lunch are
self-service in the healthily stocked kitchen with its healthily stocked
“Robert is an amazing cook”
Alicia Campbell, Canada
“Robert made us a delicious vegetarian Paella for our last night”
Anna Burchell, Germany
“..there were always lots of seasonal fruits
and healthy snacks on offer”
Katie Wood, UK
Further details can be found on the Retreats page of the website here: https://deborahjanesutton.com/healyourselfretreats/
Feel free to get in touch if you’d like to discuss your personal needs and how we can help.
“Deborah guided me to open doors to an unknown spiritual world. I’ve never learned so much in a yoga class. She made me feel, why yoga is good for you. What I loved the most were the workshops she gave which have given me tools to raise my vibrations at home. Thank you so much.”
Wenche Kwinten, The Netherlands
So, what are you waiting for? Book your place NOW!
“What an amazing experience to reconnect with yourself and learn the
many ways you can transform your life for the better. I have never felt so
peaceful and relaxed than in my time at the Retreat learning from Deborah,
being fed by Robert, and taking time to myself in the sunny hills of Alzira. My
week in Spain was truly eye-opening, and has helped me in my daily life ever
since” Morgan Zerr, Canada
Deborah Jane Sutton is an expert in Energy Healing and a Yoga Teacher with over 500 hours of Yoga Therapy Teacher Training. The author of two #1 Best Sellers in Energy Healing on Amazon, Heal yourself to Happiness and Heal your Soul, Deborah has both the knowledge and experience to help you learn and apply effective Self-Healing techniques and all aspects of Yoga.
Deborah's purpose is clearly with helping others on their healing path. Helping people see the bigger picture, the power within themselves and nurturing self-love are her strengths. That and her powerful love and compassion for all those who genuinely seek awareness and healing.
As an Energy Healer who specialises in Emotional Healing with The Emotion Code, I talk a lot about trapped emotions: in particular, what they are, how they get trapped and how to release them.
However, I have also been asked by many clients, who have cleared a load of trapped emotions, how they can prevent trapping more emotions in the future especially when “life just happens”. This is an interesting and practical concept and one that I have found a need for myself recently so here is my simple but essential 3 step guide to avoiding the energy of negative emotions from lodging in your body somewhere, causing you blockages, mal-function and illness.
We’re here to express ourselves at Soul level through our humanity and that involves embracing life and all it has to offer. You can read extensively about how we can prevent a lot of negative energy and emotions in the first place by choosing our friends carefully, learning to meditate to maintain more peace within and by generally avoiding negative situations and drama etc.
This is all very well but sometimes negative emotions still creep in and you know what, sometimes, even, they are meant to. Life is not about avoiding negative emotions all together – some, eg: grief, go hand in hand with positive emotions – so they cannot be avoided. It’s about knowing how to deal with them when they arise so their energy can pass through you and not get stuck.
Like all energy (including us) emotional energy wants to be acknowledged. It wants to be noticed, appreciated, maybe learned from, maybe acted upon but whatever else you do with it, it wants to be acknowledged.
Too often in our culture we are encouraged to hide our emotions – big boys don’t cry, stiff upper lip and pull yourself together etc. This is exactly how we stop negative energy from passing through our fields and causing it to lodge somewhere within us – only to cause us issues later in life.
Maybe we feel we shouldn’t feel a certain way because other people have it worse or maybe we judge ourselves too harshly by believing we shouldn’t feel a certain way.
But you know what – it doesn’t matter what other people are feeling or not feeling – comparing ourselves to others is never a good thing. And judging ourselves is just another form of self criticism, is it not? Another form of self-abuse and beating ourselves up. Definitely to be avoided at all costs.
Sometimes we just don’t want to admit to feeling a certain way eg: jealousy. Or maybe we just don’t like the feeling negative emotions give us and we choose to bury them so as not to feel them. But that’s the whole point of negative emotions – they have come to us to be felt. They have come to us for us to process. They have come to us as a message from our bodies, from our hearts – a message we need to heed in order to grow.
So allow yourself to feel the emotion. Don’t pretend for whatever reason that you’re not feeling them – they are part of your humanity. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, the grief, the heartache, the jealousy, the pain whatever it is. Be kind to yourself.
Self-love here – always important. Give yourself the time, the solitude and the situation in which you can just sit and be so you can feel and acknowledge the sensations within. Verbalise it. Use an affirmation to focus your intention.
I allow myself to feel this pain.
I give myself permission to truly feel this pain.
I am ready and willing to feel this pain.
I am ready and willing to listen to my body now.
Please note that I am not suggesting a prolonged state of “wallowing” in one’s negative emotions here but a healthy amount of acknowledgement before moving onto the next step.
Like all energy – our emotional energy wants to move, it wants to flow. Like water it will go stagnant and bad if it is prevented from flowing. This is why it’s best to be on your own for this part. Most good friends, however well meaning they are, will encourage you to stop crying and it’s exactly this stopping of crying that is suppressing the emotional energy.
I often see my clients and guests crying – and, to be honest, I think of it as something to be celebrated – after all, the negative energy is coming out – it’s the most healing practice our bodies have – having a good cry. It’s literally energy in motion and that’s what we want. The energy moving out – passing through our energy fields.
So crying is the number one way to process the pain. Encourage the tears as you visualise the negative emotions moving through your body and releasing. There are a number of other ways we can process our negative emotions.
Writing in a journal is a favourite for many. Just find yourself a pen and paper and start writing. Write how you feel. Describe the emotions. Vent any feelings around the situation onto the paper. You can do it in the form of a letter to a specific person or even a letter to the Universe. Keep going, writing anything – whatever comes to mind. As you feel a wave of emotion, write it all down. As you feel the emotions begin to subside you can turn your writing into a gratitude list and start focusing on the positive.
In addition to writing your emotions out of you, you can also sing them out! Or dance them out – or in my case, Yoga them out! If you set your intention (sankalpa) before your yoga practice of processing these negative emotions you will find that, firstly, you may feel the need to cry during your practice and, secondly, that you will feel heaps better afterwards. Very cathartic.
Of course, all sports and physical activity can be cathartic as is painting, drawing etc So find your preferred outlet to process your negative emotions and you’ll even find it enjoyable to do so.
Releasing your negative emotions is pretty much dealt with during the processing stage but you can use affirmations and gratitude to confirm the release of certain emotions.
I release all negative energy from past experiences and let go of any toxic conclusions made.
I release all feelings of fear, sadness, grief, heartache, anxiety, despair…….now and set myself free.
I am grateful for the release of “this” emotional energy
Gratitude is a powerful energy. And as “time” is just a wibbly wobbly line in reality, we can use Gratitude in Advance which is super powerful.
Thank you for the release of this emotional energy. Thank you for the lessons and growth from this pain. I am grateful for its release now. All is well in my world.
And so it is.
Let me know how you get on. Please share your comments below and get in touch if you’d like help with releasing trapped emotions or coaching in how to do it for yourself.
Love and Blessings
I know this will either make you smile or cringe, right? Truly loving yourself is not easy and certainly not something you can achieve overnight and it’s not easy to “measure”. Some of you reading this may not even know if you truly love yourself or not. The best guideline is by looking into a mirror – can you look straight into your own eyes and say “I love you (your name)” ? Try it and you will probably respond in one of the following ways:
cringing big time
laughing out loud
wanting to cry
Needless to say, smiling broadly is the one that shows that you DO love yourself so if you responded this way – well done – congratulations!
The other 3 answers show that you’re either not quite there or far from it. The best and pioneering teacher for learning to love yourself is, of course, the lovely Louise Hay. Reading her book “You Can Heal Your Life” is a must (or watching the film of the same name) – there’s plenty of Mirror work and Affirmations.
The truth is that if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to truly love you? And if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you truly love anyone else? Many of us have limiting and sabotaging sub conscious beliefs, for example, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worth loving”, so being able to release these and replace them with positive statements, for example, “I am worthy”, “I love and accept myself as I am”, “I am loving, lovable and loved”, is essential. Repeating Affirmations is definitely an effective way to do this even if the words do get stuck in your throat at first but they do take time. PSYCH K, on the other hand, is an amazing tool whereby we can literally change such limiting beliefs that do not serve us.
This is the one that often goes in one ear and out the other. Stop – think about it. I mean REALLY giving gratitude. I started “counting my blessings” a few years ago by just acknowledging my mother, sister and son in my life each day as I passed the wind chime in the hallway on my way out every morning. To be honest I didn’t think much about it but slowly over time I added people, then later things to the list of blessings to be counted. Then I started writing them down in a little notebook – the more I did this, the more the Universe gave me to be grateful for. It’s all about matching vibrations. If you complain and send out the negative vibrations of complaining, the Universe will match it by giving you more things to complain about. If you send out the positive vibrations of Gratitude – Like attracts Like – it’s Physics! The Universe has to match it and you will just keep getting more and more things to be grateful for. I’ve now got notebooks and journals full of my blessings – I find a quiet spot and a quiet moment – each page headed with the date and Today I am Grateful for: – the list goes on and on. Use your senses – what can you SEE that you’re grateful for? What can you SMELL? What can you HEAR? How do you FEEL? If you’re poorly or sick be grateful for the bits of you that are healthy. If you’re not happy with your body, be grateful for the bits you ARE happy with. Find SOMETHING to be grateful for……..the Universe will take it from there!
This is such an amazing tool to have – being able to tap into your subconscious mind to find out exactly what your body wants or needs in order to heal itself!
Everything is Energy – It’s Physics again! Energies (thoughts, emotions, food, substances, beliefs, etc) that are GOOD for us, and that our bodies NEED, make our bodies stronger and this is felt by our muscles literally getting stronger. The Energies from substances that our bodies DON’T want (try it with cigarettes or chocolate!!) will make our muscles weaker. If you are a beginner at this try The Sway test first. Stand up straight, relax and focus on something you love, that makes you feel good. Think of the word LOVE and your body will gently sway forwards. Now, change your thoughts to something negative – a violent event in your life or a war scene and the word HATE – see how your body reacts to the negativity. Does it sway backwards this time?
Muscle testing does take some practice and there are many different ways to test your muscle strength. My favourite is known as the Ring in Ring method and involves placing your fingers together as in the photo below and gently trying to pull them apart.
Practice by saying a true statement, for example, “My Name is ________” and feel the strength of your fingers. Now say a false name and feel how your fingers go weaker. It may feel just like a subtle difference at first – but a significant one. Now you can try it with some foods – try obviously bad foods first. Place chocolate, for example, on your chest (I stick things down my cleevage!) muscle test and acknowledge the strength of your muscles. Now try again with a piece of fruit. Can you FEEL the difference? Remember, we are just trying to measure the strength of our muscles to establish the difference between a positive and negative response. We are not trying to break through the fingers on purpose! We are acknowledging the difference in our muscle strength between a positive and negative response.
Every BODY is different and we can all develop food intolerances when we’re stressed so what’s good for one person may not be good for another. If you ONLY eat foods that you test POSITIVE for, your BODY will THANK YOU by making you FEEL SO much BETTER!
This skill is invaluable especially in today’s world of processed foods when, to be honest, we don’t really know what we’re eating!
FOOD is our MEDICINE and equally in today’s world FOOD is our POISON. Now you can self medicate on the RIGHT foods for YOUR body.
For more information on any of the above, or other Self Healing techniques, please email me at email@example.com.