The Importance of Loving Yourself
“Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.”
“Our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives.”
The energy of Love is the most powerfully healing energy of all. For this reason, when we raise our own vibrational frequency to that of love, we find profound healing on all levels, especially the soul.
The truth is by learning to love yourself, you are more able to find love in others and in everything around you. It makes sense if you think about it. How can you truly love anyone or anything else, if you cannot first love yourself? Or more to the point, how can you expect anyone else to truly love you if you cannot love yourself? The whole idea of loving others more than you love yourself is energetically out of balance. Energy likes to move in circles and likes to be balanced. Your giving and receiving need to be equal if you are to feel true peace and happiness within your soul. If you give more than you receive, you will end up giving from a place of lack and this doesn’t help anyone. I like the analogy with the oxygen mask on an aeroplane. You are always advised to fit your own oxygen mask first, so you can attend to others from a place of strength. There is nothing to be gained by depleting yourself to help others. There is what I call the Selfish jump to get over. It is important to nurture and love yourself and cater to your own needs first. This may seem selfish at first. But it is not selfish. It provides you with the energetic resources you need to give more of yourself. You are, in fact, helping others to a greater extent and able to give more to more people, if you first receive what you need. So, you owe it to others, to put yourself first!
So now you have decided to put yourself first and start showing yourself some much needed love. But where do you start? More often than not, you have put your own needs on the back burner. You have probably forgotten about them and lost sight of them. How can you start on this journey of self-Love?
Remember it is all about making yourself feel good. It’s all about surrounding yourself with the energy of love.
In my opinion, the first thing to do is find yourself a few powerful affirmations to repeat, write, recite every morning, noon and night. I recommend learning your affirmations by heart, so you can repeat them while washing the dishes, cleaning your teeth, while taking the dog for a walk, driving to work…you get the picture. I always think eight is a good number for affirmations. Too many at once and you won’t remember them all and too few and you won’t transform so quickly.
Now for a quick lesson in Sway Testing so you can test how much you resonate with certain affirmations and beliefs. Affirmations are basically beliefs. So, standing upright with your feet shoulder width apart, arms by your side and your shoulders relaxed, close your eyes and turn your attention to the subtle, slight, involuntary movements of your body. Take deep, slow breaths as you focus on tuning into your body’s natural flow of energy. Repeat the affirmation “I love and accept myself completely”. Wait a few seconds for the energy of the words to penetrate your energy field and see which way you sway.
You may need to focus on the muscles in your feet as you do this at first. Obviously the muscles in our feet are well trained to keep us upright so focus on whether you are subconsciously using the muscles in your feet to stop you from swaying forward or backwards. Repeat the belief again. Try and connect with the energy of the words you are saying. Where do you sway? If you sway forwards, you already resonate with this belief. If you hover, then it’s an affirmation you could certainly use and if you sway backwards, then it’s an affirmation you need to add to your list.
The classic “I love and accept myself completely” should always be in your list, even when you test positive to it. Once you resonate with the energy of really, truly and unconditionally loving and accepting yourself, you will find it an absolute joy to repeat these words to yourself so enjoy it!
However, if this classic “I love and accept myself completely” affirmation doesn’t resonate with you at all yet, then why not try “I’m willing to love and accept myself”. Even if you haven’t mastered the technique of sway testing yet, you can usually “feel” how much the energy of an affirmation resonates with you. Some people feel a lump in their throat as they repeat the words. This is the body wanting to release whatever sadness, or other negative emotion, it is that is stopping you from loving and accepting yourself completely. Some people want to cry which is great because this is your body releasing the negative energy stopping you from loving yourself. Some people burst out laughing as they say these words, which, of course, is a defence mechanism to the negative emotions coming up. Saying your affirmations in front of a mirror will be more powerful. It really is a process so please don’t give up.
Other super healing self-love affirmations include:
- I am lovable
- I deserve to be loved
- I am worthy
- I trust myself
- I accept my imperfections as opportunities to learn valuable lessons in my life
- I have confidence in myself
See how these affirmations make you sway or feel. Remember, the less you resonate with them, the more you need them in your daily list.
Repeat your list of affirmations at every opportunity. Write them down. Especially at the full moon. Make them part of your daily behaviour and routine. Soon you will begin to enjoy them. They will start feeling more comfortable. Keep going. This is seriously one of the most healing things you could do for yourself.
Expressing gratitude is also an effective route to self-love. Give gratitude for all the things in your life that you love. Write a list of everything you love about your life, your job, your friends, your family, your home, your pets, your health etc! Keep this going until you feel “fluent” in pouring out your love. Then progress to writing a list of all the things you love about yourself. No one is going to read it so just go with it. Even if they are not strictly true yet. Maybe they are your desires. Write them down anyway, as if you really loved those aspects of yourself already. As if they were fact. Keep it going….you will soon see a difference.
Another way to express love for yourself is to think about what you would like to receive from others as signs of love. Maybe buy yourself a potted plant. Treat yourself to a meal in your favourite restaurant for no reason except you love yourself and you are worth it. What else do you associate with being treated? A massage maybe? Give yourself permission to book in regular massages or other treatments usually reserved for special occasions. Show yourself the same level of love, respect and kindness that you would show a loved one. Be your own best friend.
Self-massage infused with love really works wonders on building one’s Self Love. Using your favourite aromas and essential oils, massage your body slowly and lovingly remembering to give gratitude and love to each body part as you go. Allowing yourself the time to do such acts of Self Love sends a signal to your subconscious that you are worthy and deserving which, in itself, is healing. The infusion of love and gratitude energy will raise your vibrations. It’s a relaxing, healing and healthy way to express self-love. Say lovely things to and about yourself as you work around your body. Even if the compliments are half-hearted in the beginning, it will get you in the energy flow of appreciating different aspects of yourself. It’s all about that energy flow!
Another suggestion to raise your self-love, is to show random acts of kindness to others. I love this one. You don’t need to receive anything in return and in some cases the recipients may not even know the kindness came from you. Try it and see. Just offer random acts of kindness to the next person you see that would benefit. This is one of our Soul’s main purposes in life and one of the best ways to heal ourselves. Giving, receiving and sharing the energy of love.
You can find out more about raising your vibration to that of Love and learning the skills to do so on my Heal yourself to Happiness Online Course here:
Love and Blessings