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Category Archives for Affirmations

Say “I can” to expand into who you really are!

“I can”

If you have been following my work for any length of time, you will know the importance I place on being able to muscle test yourself. The easiest way to do this is by using the Sway Test. I appreciate that most of you will be pretty confident by now with this amazing tool for communicating with your body, your sub-conscious and consciousness itself, so if you are already confident in using this amazing skill in your life then please skip the following instructions and join us again on the other side of them.

If, however, Sway Testing is something new to you, here’s how to do it.

How to Sway Test

1. Stand upright with your feet hip width apart and your arms relaxed by your side. If you are a yogi, stand in Tadasana!

2. Face forward but close your eyes. Take a deep breath and allow it to go all the way down to your belly. Relax your shoulders and continue breathing slower and deeper. Feel your body naturally sway. You are made of energy and energy likes to move!!

Even when standing still, feel the movement within your body. With your breath. With your thoughts.

3. Keeping your eyes closed and your body relaxed, take your attention to your feet and feel how you are involuntarily using the muscles of your feet to keep you upright. Lean forward a little to activate the muscles in your toes as they take more of your weight. Now activate your heels as you lean backwards. See how your feet work to keep you from falling. Focus on this because you will want to feel when you involuntarily lean forwards or backwards.

4. Now say your full, correct name…..”My name is…Full Name” – see where your body naturally wants to sway. Say the same now with a false name that means nothing to you. Where do you sway?

5. Say the word LOVE and bring to your mind visions of loving people, places and thoughts – where do you sway?

6. Bring to your mind the word HATE and visions of cruelty and violence towards you and others. Which way do you naturally sway?

You can do the same with foods and other objects. For example, take an apple and hold it to your heart. Ask the question – is this apple good for my body? See which way your body moves. If the apple is good for your body, you will sway forwards. If not, you will sway backwards.

Take some time to really breathe into your body and your awareness. Keep your body relaxed.

Now do the same with your cigarettes/wine/beer/sugar/chocolate – is this “item” good for my body? Give yourself a few seconds to absorb the energy of the item/words/thoughts. Which way do you naturally sway?

Our bodies naturally strengthen and sway forwards with energy that is good for us – positive energy. With energy that is congruent with our own energy.

And our bodies naturally contract and weaken with energy that is not good for us.

Think about it. When you smell something “good” or meet someone you love, you instinctively move towards them. However, when you walk into a room with a horrible smell, or someone you dislike intensly comes towards you – you instinctively contract and your body wants to draw away from their energy.

Listen to your Body
OK so welcome back to those confident Sway Testers among you!
Get ready to Sway Test yourself. Relax. Close your eyes. Inhale long and slow. Spend a few breaths tuning into your body and your body’s natural flow.What I want you to Sway test now is the words, “I can” and the words “I can’t”.Really feel the effect these words have on your body. Some of you may be able to feel the effect on every cell of your body. How do these words make you feel?

With the clients and Yoga students I have been working with this summer, and with myself, of course, the feeling of expansion comes to every cell of the body when you say the words “I can”.
Compare the feeling with the words “I can’t”.
Can you feel your body and your cells contracting?

The word expansion is key here.

You are probably aware of this galactic wave of new energy that has come in recently. It really is empowering us with all that we need to express ourselves at Soul Level or as I like to say to express our Divinity within our Humanity. It is quite literally enabling us to expand our consciousness. To expand into our Divinity. And this week’s Full Moon really marks the final releases needed in order to be the new you. The You who you came here to be!

It has been the end of an energy cycle and we are presently at the beginning of a new, glorious energy cycle. It is bringing with it new ideas, new directions and new desires. You may well have found yourself getting excited by things you never thought would excite you. Where does this excitement come from?  It is the Universe speaking loud and clear to you.

However, I am still seeing among my clients, students and friends people ignoring this excitement. When I ask what is stopping them from doing what they love on a bigger scale, they always give me a sentence that starts with “I can’t” or “I am not..”.

The world is full of nay sayers and people stuck in their comfort zone. Don’t let these people put you off. Disregard anything that comes out of your mouth or mind beginning with the words “I can’t” or “I am not”.  We have already seen from the sway test above – these words are not good for your body!!! These words are not in line with who you really are!! These words do not help you expand.

If you would like some healing and help with installing positive beliefs please do get in touch. PSYCH K is an amazing belief changing modality that has helped many clients and retreat guests install empowering beliefs.

And please don’t worry about making mistakes. Look at them as ways to help you tune into your intuition more clearly.

As Bob Ross says,

“We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents” 
Here’s a quote on the topic of mistakes from the man himself, Albert Einstein
Big ideas are coming in. Where do they come from? and more importantly, why have they come to you? these are the dreams to follow.

Remember, you wouldn’t have had the dream or idea unless it was one you could bring to fruition. Go for it! Think BIG. Dream BIG. What is stopping you apart from the phrase “I can’t”? And we know that that is not good for you.

We See Things as We are…………..

I’ve written recently about the importance of questioning our beliefs. I am frequently amazed at how deep rooted our beliefs actually run within us. One of the beliefs that people seem to struggle with is the concept that every relationship in our life is a reflection of ourselves. Each person we encounter is reflecting back to us aspects of ourselves. Understanding this concept can be used as a learning and self-realisation process which can bring around amazing transformation and healing. This has become so clear to me lately, and has helped me find so much joy, peace and gratitude in so many areas of my life, on so many levels that I just had to share!

The more we learn to love ourselves, the more we find ourselves surrounded by loving people. Of course, this reality becomes so clear when we realise these loving souls are just reflecting our loving nature back to us. It’s all about self-love!!

The people that trigger us and push our buttons are in our life for the sole purpose of helping us see and acknowledge aspects of ourselves that we do not love. They help us see where we need healing.

Instead of getting angry, frustrated and irritated by them – seeing the bigger picture allows us to feel gratitude towards them as we take on board the valuable lesson within their difficult behaviour. 

 

What if we could take this one step further and apply it to other relationships we have in life………….. 

Like, for example, our relationship with money! 

What if our financial situation was merely just a reflection of our beliefs around money?

Of course it is. Suddenly it all makes sense, right?

Money, like everything else manifested in this physical world, is just energy and its presence or absence in our life, like everything else, is created through our own thoughts and beliefs. And as with people in our lives, we have stories about money too. Lots of stories about money. And they are just that – stories!! Not real. Not true and not relevant. Only thoughts that don’t serve us. Thoughts that we would feel a whole lot better not having!

If you believe you can’t afford something – you will be right! The words “Can’t afford” are energetically really harsh. Remember you are affirming your intentions with your words at all times. Instead you could say things like, “I will buy it another time” or “I don’t need whatever it is today” rather than “I can’t afford it”. Think about the emotions within you that come up when you think and say the words “I can’t afford it”. How does saying these words make you feel? What other thoughts pop into your head when you say the words “I can’t afford it”? Is there some resentment, bitterness or even anger? Is there some part of you giving your power away and viewing yourself as some sort of financial victim? 

It’s not about whether you can afford something or not. It’s about the emotions and thoughts you attach to not being able to afford something that do the damage. From an energy point of view, it is the emotions and thoughts around money that are keeping you from having more of it.

If you think people around you are greedy with their money – it will be a reflection of an aspect of yourself. If you feel that people around you are stingy, it, too, will be a reflection of some aspect of yourself on one level or another. Whatever uncomfortable feelings and thoughts you have about money, and other people and their money, will be a reflection. A sign that it is time for some financial healing as in releasing the fears, shame, guilt and hatred, for example, you feel towards money and/or the people that have it.  

If you haven’t read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I strongly recommend that you do.  Understanding we only have the present moment – I mean really getting to grips with that reality, is life changing. If you are going to change your relationship with money, you have to do it in this moment because there is only ever this moment. There is no future. Tomorrow never comes. The future is always just a thought. We always think we don’t have enough money but that’s usually just because we never want to spend ALL we have. Because of thoughts and stories about needing it for “tomorrow”. 

Haven’t you ever noticed that, in fact, you always have enough? You always have enough for what you need? If you follow your intuition when spending and stop all the negative talk in your head about money and not having enough – you will see, in this moment – and that’s all we ever have – this present moment – you have everything you need. In fact, I would go as far as to say,  you probably have, right now, MORE than you need.  

“Galore, galore, I have everything I need and more” 

So let’s say you have (only) €200 in your bank account. I put the word “only” in brackets because for most people on the planet today, that is a fortune!! I read somewhere recently that if you have $3000 or more in savings, you are in the top 10% wealthiest people on the planet right now! Just saying!

Anyway, back to your €200. Would you spend €20 on a massage? Or a hair do? Or whatever else makes you feel good? Most people say no, they wouldn’t. When I ask why, they simply say, because I’ve only got €200!  But in reality, you can not only afford the massage, hair do or whatever, but you can afford it 10 times over. You actually have 10 x more money than you need!! 
 

                             “Galore, galore, I have everything I need and more”
This card comes up a lot – the 4 of Pentacles. The message is usually “Don’t hold onto money too tightly”. Money, like everything else, is energy and as such it likes to flow. And it likes to flow in cycles. Like the water cycle right? We know from a national or global perspective, when people spend money, the economy booms. Of course, what goes out, has to come in. You have to spend money in order to receive money. But don’t try and attach your limited human thinking on “how” you will receive. The Universe has far more options than you could think of!! Your job is just to be grateful. Grateful that you have the money to buy what it is you need today
“Giving nurtures Receiving”
 
This is where Gratitude is so important. It’s an energy. It’s an emotion. And it’s the most effective energy in bringing you what you want in life. Of course it is!! Because we reap what we sow. The more gratitude flowing from you, enables more reasons to be grateful flowing to you. 
“When you really want what you have, you will have what you want.”
Sara Landon

As with healing any past trauma in life – it’s not about changing the events, it’s all about changing the emotions you have attached to those events. It’s the emotions that cause damage in the body. It’s the emotions that attract more of the same to you. It is the emotions that you need to change or release. It is the same with healing your money!

Fear and Love cannot co-exist. Fear is the absence of Love. If you feel fear when looking at your bank account, that fear will attract more of the same to you. If you can detach from the fear you feel when looking at your bank account or when talking about money and nurture a sense of gratitude for all that you do have instead, you will be well on the road to healing your financial situation and your relationship with money. 
 

“It’s not about how much money you have, it’s about how you “feel” about the money you do have in this moment.”

 
You may think you can’t control the amount of money in your bank account, but you can control how you “feel” about it. It takes the importance of gratitude to a whole new level, eh? And the fact that we only have this moment. It’s all about understanding that this moment is all we ever have! Anything else is just a thought that can be changed. 

If you want someone to love you, first love yourself. Think of money as love. If you want to receive it, you need to give it. And one of the best investments is to spend it on yourself. You are not giving the money to yourself directly of course. You are giving the money to a charity, or the hairdresser, massage therapist, the online course you’re interested in, the shop keeper……………you are supporting someone else and displaying a love for yourself. Win win. If you want the Universe to give you more money, spend more on yourself! Money can’t flow in if money doesn’t flow out!

If you want a guideline for understanding when you are spending and investing money wisely and when you are wasting money – I say this: consider who is benefitting from your purchase. If the purchase enables you to give more to others in some way then it is a wise investment. If the purchase is something that really makes your heart sing then it is a wise investment. If the purchase raises your vibrations and, in turn, the vibrations of those around you then it is a wise investment. If your purchase is in the highest interest and benefit of all then it is a wise investment. I am not suggesting you spend more money than you have in your bank account! All of this is within reason of course.Your intuition will guide you on this. 

Play this game with yourself. Everytime you get a bill or an invoice, catch yourself before fear and negative emotions flow through you. Instead, express gratitude that you have the means to pay for it. Genuinely. Fill up with the energy of gratitude. See what happens.

Let me know how you get on. 

 

The Importance of Loving Yourself

“Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.”

“Our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives.”

Anita Moorjani

 

The energy of Love is the most powerfully healing energy of all.  For this reason, when we raise our own vibrational frequency to that of love, we find profound healing on all levels, especially the soul.

The truth is by learning to love yourself, you are more able to find love in others and in everything around you. It makes sense if you think about it. How can you truly love anyone or anything else, if you cannot first love yourself? Or more to the point, how can you expect anyone else to truly love you if you cannot love yourself? The whole idea of loving others more than you love yourself is energetically out of balance. Energy likes to move in circles and likes to be balanced. Your giving and receiving need to be equal if you are to feel true peace and happiness within your soul. If you give more than you receive, you will end up giving from a place of lack and this doesn’t help anyone. I like the analogy with the oxygen mask on an aeroplane. You are always advised to fit your own oxygen mask first, so you can attend to others from a place of strength. There is nothing to be gained by depleting yourself to help others. There is what I call the Selfish jump to get over. It is important to nurture and love yourself and cater to your own needs first. This may seem selfish at first. But it is not selfish. It provides you with the energetic resources you need to give more of yourself. You are, in fact, helping others to a greater extent and able to give more to more people, if you first receive what you need. So, you owe it to others, to put yourself first!

So now you have decided to put yourself first and start showing yourself some much needed love. But where do you start?  More often than not, you have put your own needs on the back burner. You have probably forgotten about them and lost sight of them.  How can you start on this journey of self-Love?

Remember it is all about making yourself feel good. It’s all about surrounding yourself with the energy of love.

In my opinion, the first thing to do is find yourself a few powerful affirmations to repeat, write, recite every morning, noon and night. I recommend learning your affirmations by heart, so you can repeat them while washing the dishes, cleaning your teeth, while taking the dog for a walk, driving to work…you get the picture. I always think eight is a good number for affirmations. Too many at once and you won’t remember them all and too few and you won’t transform so quickly.

Now for a quick lesson in Sway Testing so you can test how much you resonate with certain affirmations and beliefs. Affirmations are basically beliefs. So, standing upright with your feet shoulder width apart, arms by your side and your shoulders relaxed, close your eyes and turn your attention to the subtle, slight, involuntary movements of your body. Take deep, slow breaths as you focus on tuning into your body’s natural flow of energy. Repeat the affirmation “I love and accept myself completely”. Wait a few seconds for the energy of the words to penetrate your energy field and see which way you sway.

You may need to focus on the muscles in your feet as you do this at first.  Obviously the muscles in our feet are well trained to keep us upright so focus on whether you are subconsciously using the muscles in your feet to stop you from swaying forward or backwards. Repeat the belief again. Try and connect with the energy of the words you are saying. Where do you sway? If you sway forwards, you already resonate with this belief. If you hover, then it’s an affirmation you could certainly use and if you sway backwards, then it’s an affirmation you need to add to your list.

The classic “I love and accept myself completely” should always be in your list, even when you test positive to it. Once you resonate with the energy of really, truly and unconditionally loving and accepting yourself, you will find it an absolute joy to repeat these words to yourself so enjoy it!

However, if this classic “I love and accept myself completely” affirmation doesn’t resonate with you at all yet, then why not try “I’m willing to love and accept myself”. Even if you haven’t mastered the technique of sway testing yet, you can usually “feel” how much the energy of an affirmation resonates with you. Some people feel a lump in their throat as they repeat the words. This is the body wanting to release whatever sadness, or other negative emotion, it is that is stopping you from loving and accepting yourself completely. Some people want to cry which is great because this is your body releasing the negative energy stopping you from loving yourself. Some people burst out laughing as they say these words, which, of course, is a defence mechanism to the negative emotions coming up. Saying your affirmations in front of a mirror will be more powerful. It really is a process so please don’t give up.

Other super healing self-love affirmations include:

  • I am lovable
  • I deserve to be loved
  • I am worthy
  • I trust myself
  • I accept my imperfections as opportunities to learn valuable lessons in my life
  • I have confidence in myself

See how these affirmations make you sway or feel. Remember, the less you resonate with them, the more you need them in your daily list.

Repeat your list of affirmations at every opportunity.  Write them down. Especially at the full moon. Make them part of your daily behaviour and routine. Soon you will begin to enjoy them. They will start feeling more comfortable. Keep going. This is seriously one of the most healing things you could do for yourself.

Expressing gratitude is also an effective route to self-love. Give gratitude for all the things in your life that you love. Write a list of everything you love about your life, your job, your friends, your family, your home, your pets, your health etc! Keep this going until you feel “fluent” in pouring out your love. Then progress to writing a list of all the things you love about yourself. No one is going to read it so just go with it. Even if they are not strictly true yet. Maybe they are your desires. Write them down anyway, as if you really loved those aspects of yourself already. As if they were fact. Keep it going….you will soon see a difference.

Another way to express love for yourself is to think about what you would like to receive from others as signs of love. Maybe buy yourself a potted plant. Treat yourself to a meal in your favourite restaurant for no reason except you love yourself and you are worth it. What else do you associate with being treated?  A massage maybe? Give yourself permission to book in regular massages or other treatments usually reserved for special occasions. Show yourself the same level of love, respect and kindness that you would show a loved one. Be your own best friend.

Self-massage infused with love really works wonders on building one’s Self Love. Using your favourite aromas and essential oils, massage your body slowly and lovingly remembering to give gratitude and love to each body part as you go. Allowing yourself the time to do such acts of Self Love sends a signal to your subconscious that you are worthy and deserving which, in itself, is healing. The infusion of love and gratitude energy will raise your vibrations. It’s a relaxing, healing and healthy way to express self-love. Say lovely things to and about yourself as you work around your body. Even if the compliments are half-hearted in the beginning, it will get you in the energy flow of appreciating different aspects of yourself. It’s all about that energy flow!

My final suggestion here, to raise your self-love, is to show random acts of kindness to others. I love this one. You don’t need to receive anything in return and in some cases the recipients may not even know the kindness came from you. Try it and see. Just offer random acts of kindness to the next person you see that would benefit. This is one of our Soul’s main purposes in life and one of the best ways to heal it. Giving, receiving and sharing the energy of love.

***

If you would like help with installing the life-changing belief of loving and accepting yourself completely, then please do get in touch to book a private PSYCH K healing session with me. Or maybe you need to install more positive beliefs surrounding money so you can attract your financial abundance?

I offer a Free 30 minute Consultation Session by phone or Skype to discuss your personal needs and which healing path is best for you at this stage of your spiritual journey.

Love and Blessings

deborah@deborahjanesutton.com

¿Qué es PSYCH K®?

La kinesiología psicológica (PSYCH-K®) es la forma más simple de reprogramar la mente subconsciente para poder cambiar las creencias y lo hábitos negativos que no nos están ayudando, y crear en vez, creencias y oportunidades positivas para mejorar todas la áreas de la vida.

Nuestras creencias son la base de quienes somos. Estas creencias son el resultado de la programación de toda una vida, y representan una potente influencia sobre el comportamiento humano. Son nuestras creencias las que crean nuestra actitud ante la vida, y ante nosotros mismo, y de esta actitud desarrollamos nuestro comportamiento y nuestros hábitos. Las creencias tienen consecuencias a largo plazo, tanto positivas como negativas, en todas las áreas de la vida. Afectan a nuestro humor, a nuestras relaciones, al rendimiento profesional, a la auto estima e incluso a la salud física. Es muy importante que aprendamos a identificar las creencias que nos limitan, y a cómo transformarlas en creencias que nos apoyan.

Nuestras creencias (actitud, valores, etc.), son extraídas de experiencias del pasado que han sido almacenadas en la mente subconsciente. Aunque no seamos conscientes de su influencia sobre nosotros, dirigen nuestras acciones y nuestro comportamiento. Estas creencias subconscientes crean un filtro a través del cual respondemos a los retos que nos encontramos en la vida. Ellas forman la base de nuestras acciones y reacciones a cada nueva situación de la vida. La habilidad para actuar de forma efectiva, tanto personal como profesionalmente, está en gran medida afectada por creencias como “soy suficiente”, “Estoy seguro”, “Soy valioso y merecedor de cosas buenas” o “Soy próspero”. Las creencias establecen los límites de lo que podemos conseguir. Como decía la famosa frase de Henry Ford, “Tanto si crees que puedes, como si crees que no puedes… tienes razón” Esto es especialmente cierto cuando las creencias son subconscientes.

De acuerdo con Bruce Lipton PhD, biólogo celular y reconocido autor de, “La Biología de la Creencia.” Y “El Efecto Luna de Miel”, el mayor obstáculo para obtener el éxito es la programación subconsciente de creencias que nos limitan.

¿Por qué son las creencias tan importantes.

¡Porque nuestras creencias establecen los límites de lo que podemos conseguir!

Gandhi dijo …

  • Tus creencias se convierten en Tus Pensamientos.
  • Tus pensamientos se convierten en Tus Palabras.
  • Tus palabras se convierten en Tus Acciones.
  • Tus acciones se convierten en Tus Hábitos.
  • Tus hábitos se convierten en Tus Valores.
  • Tus valores se convierten en Tu Destino.

La mayoría de nosotros estamos de acuerdo, y los científicos que estudian el comportamiento están lo afirman, que nuestro comportamiento es un reflejo directo de nuestras creencias, percepciones y valores, generados por experiencias pasadas. Los estudios científicos también han demostrado que las células humanas tienen capacidad para almacenar información y también tienen la capacidad de ser programadas. Aquí es donde entra el PSYCH-K® y su capacidad para cambiar vidas. Fue desarrollado por Robert M. Williams, M.A en 1988, y lo probó durante 10 años antes de hacerlo público. Usando la kinesiología, la Programación Neurolingüística (NLP), Digitopuntura, y otros sistemas de sanación, el PSYCH-K® se convierte en una forma segura, no invasiva y efectiva de disolver la resistencia al cambio a nivel subconsciente.

¿Cómo funciona Psych-K®?

Fundamentalmente, el PSYCH-K® incrementa la comunicación entre ambos hemisferios del cerebro, consiguiendo así un estado más “integrado-mental”. Esto es idóneo para cambiar creencias subconscientes y facilitar la comunicación entre la mente subconsciente y la consciente para cambiar viejos patrones de creencias perjudiciales, y convertirlas en creencias que apoyan a la persona. La mente subconsciente acumula y guarda información a una velocidad de 40 millones de bits por segundo, y almacena esta información de forma permanente, mientras que la parte consciente de nuestro cerebro que procesa la información va a 2000 bits por segundo y tiene una capacidad de memoria de 20 segundos.

Así que si tienes una creencia subconsciente que dice: “No eres lo bastante bueno.” O “No te mereces lo mejor que el amor y la vida te pueden ofrecer”, se está generando a 40 millones de bits por segundo. La mente consciente, que va a 2000 bits por segundo, no puede hacerle frente. Entonces crea un conflicto entre la mente consciente y la subconsciente lo que produce estrés a nivel celular. Este estrés pone en peligro el buen funcionamiento del sistema inmunológico y crea enfermedad en el cuerpo. A través de una serie de equilibrios específicos, posiciones estratégicas corporales, afirmaciones, y visualizaciones diseñadas para crear un puente entre los dos hemisferios cerebrales, las creencias limitantes se pueden re-escribir a nivel subconsciente hasta reprogramarlas por completo.

La kinesiología puede ser muy precisa a la hora de detectar verdades subconscientes, como también para detectar estrés en el cuerpo. Ya que la mente subconsciente controla el sistema motriz del cuerpo, como el movimiento de los músculos, este mecanismo “integrado” nos proporciona información muy acertada sobre si el subconsciente está o no de acuerdo con una afirmación sobre una creencia concreta. Este proceso nace de la biología mecánica.

 

Dr. Bruce Lipton, PhD, en su libro La Biología de la Creencia, posee información científica que une a la biología de las creencias con el cambio psicológico. El PSYCH-K®  permite y proporciona la capacidad de tomar control sobre la vida. Cambiando la programación, creas la vida que deseas, de forma rápida, sin esfuerzo y sin la necesidad de tomar medicamentos o psicoterapia.

 

 

Contactame para concertar tu cita.

3 Steps to Releasing Emotional Energy (and not trapping it)

As an Energy Healer who specialises in Emotional Healing with The Emotion Code, I talk a lot about trapped emotions:  in particular,  what they are, how they get trapped and how to release them.

However, I have also been asked by many clients, who have cleared a load of trapped emotions, how they can prevent trapping more emotions in the future especially when “life just happens”.  This is an interesting and practical concept and one that I have found a need for myself recently so here is my simple but essential 3 step guide to avoiding the energy of negative emotions from lodging in your body somewhere, causing you blockages, mal-function and illness.

1.  Acknowledgment

We’re here to express ourselves at Soul level through our humanity and that involves embracing life and all it has to offer. You can read extensively about how we can prevent a lot of negative energy and emotions in the first place by choosing our friends carefully, learning to meditate to maintain more peace within and by generally avoiding negative situations and drama etc.

This is all very well but sometimes negative emotions still creep in and you know what, sometimes, even, they are meant to.  Life is not about avoiding negative emotions all together – some, eg: grief,  go hand in hand with positive emotions – so they cannot be avoided. It’s about knowing how to deal with them when they arise so their energy can pass through you and not get stuck.

Like all energy (including us) emotional energy wants to be acknowledged.  It wants to be noticed, appreciated, maybe learned from, maybe acted upon but whatever else you do with it, it wants to be acknowledged.

Too often in our culture we are encouraged to hide our emotions – big boys don’t cry, stiff upper lip and pull yourself together etc.  This is exactly how we stop negative energy from passing through our fields and causing it to lodge somewhere within us – only to cause us issues later in life.

Maybe we feel we shouldn’t feel a certain way because other people have it worse or maybe we judge ourselves too harshly by believing we shouldn’t feel a certain way.

But you know what – it doesn’t matter what other people are feeling or not feeling – comparing ourselves to others is never a good thing.  And judging ourselves is just another form of self criticism, is it not?  Another form of self-abuse and beating ourselves up. Definitely to be avoided at all costs.

Sometimes we just don’t want to admit to feeling a certain way eg: jealousy. Or maybe we just don’t like the feeling negative emotions give us and we choose to bury them so as not to feel them. But that’s the whole point of negative emotions – they have come to us to be felt.  They have come to us for us to process. They have come to us as a message from our bodies, from our hearts – a message we need to heed in order to grow.

“Denying yourself the experience of pain is denying yourself the
experience of growth.”

 So allow yourself to feel the emotion.  Don’t pretend for whatever reason that you’re not feeling them – they are part of your humanity. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, the grief, the heartache, the jealousy, the pain whatever it is.  Be kind to yourself.

Self-love here – always important.  Give yourself the time, the solitude and the situation in which you can just sit and be so you can feel and acknowledge the sensations within.  Verbalise it.  Use an affirmation to focus your intention.

I allow myself to feel this pain. 

I give myself permission to truly feel this pain. 

I am ready and willing to feel this pain.

I am ready and willing to listen to my body now.

Please note that I am not suggesting a prolonged state of “wallowing” in one’s negative emotions here but a healthy amount of acknowledgement before moving onto the next step.

2.  Process it.

Like all energy – our emotional energy wants to move, it wants to flow. Like water it will go stagnant and bad if it is prevented from flowing.  This is why it’s best to be on your own for this part.  Most good friends, however well meaning they are, will encourage you to stop crying and it’s exactly this stopping of crying that is suppressing the emotional energy.

I often see my clients and guests crying – and, to be honest, I think of it as something to be celebrated – after all, the negative energy is coming out – it’s the most healing practice our bodies have – having a good cry. It’s literally energy in motion and that’s what we want. The energy moving out – passing through our energy fields.

So crying is the number one way to process the pain. Encourage the tears as you visualise the negative emotions moving through your body and releasing.  There are a number of other ways we can process our negative emotions.

Writing in a journal is a favourite for many.  Just find yourself a pen and paper and start writing.  Write how you feel. Describe the emotions. Vent any feelings around the situation onto the paper.  You can do it in the form of a letter to a specific person or even a letter to the Universe.  Keep going, writing anything – whatever comes to mind. As you feel a wave of emotion, write it all down.  As you feel the emotions begin to subside you can turn your writing into a gratitude list and start focusing on the positive.

In addition to writing your emotions out of you, you can also sing them out!  Or dance them out – or in my case, Yoga them out!  If you set your intention (sankalpa) before your yoga practice of processing these negative emotions you will find that, firstly, you may feel the need to cry during your practice and, secondly, that you will feel heaps better afterwards. Very cathartic.

Of course, all sports and physical activity can be cathartic as is painting, drawing etc  So find your preferred outlet to process your negative emotions and you’ll even find it enjoyable to do so.

3.  Release it.

Releasing your negative emotions is pretty much dealt with during the processing stage but you can use affirmations and gratitude to confirm the release of certain emotions.

I release all negative energy from past experiences and let go of any toxic conclusions made.

I release all feelings of fear, sadness, grief, heartache, anxiety, despair…….now and set myself free.

I am grateful for the release of “this” emotional energy

Gratitude is a powerful energy.  And as “time” is just a wibbly wobbly line in reality, we can use Gratitude in Advance which is super powerful.

Thank you for the release of this emotional energy. Thank you for the lessons and growth from this pain.  I am grateful for its release now.  All is well in my world.

                                                                                             And so it is.

 

Let me know how you get on.  Please share your comments below and get in touch if you’d like help with releasing trapped emotions or coaching in how to do it for yourself.

Love and Blessings

Top Ten Steps to Self-Love – How many do you do?

Self Love is such an integral part of our health and happiness and we should take every opportunity  to focus upon our Self Love care.  What do you do to nurture love for yourself?

Check out my Top Ten Steps to Self Love – how many do you do regularly?

1. Repeat Self Love affirmations.

If the classic “I love and accept myself completely” doesn’t resonate with you yet then why not try “I’m willing to love and accept myself” or “I am lovable” or “I deserve to be loved”.  Find one that feels comfortable for you. Repeat it morning, noon and night and in no time you’ll be more comfortable with “I love and accept myself completely”.  If you can muscle test yourself, muscle test each affirmation to see how much your subconscious really believes it…………….and keep going. Seriously the most healing thing you could do for yourself.

2. Give gratitude

Give gratitude for all the things in your life that you love. Write a list of all the things you love about your life, your job, your friends, your family, your home, your pets, your health etc! Keep this going until you feel “fluent” in pouring out your love.  Then progress to writing a list of all the things you love about yourself. No one is going to read it so just go with it – even if the things you are writing are not strictly true about yourself – maybe they are your desires – but write them anyway, as if you really loved those aspects of yourself already – as if they were fact – keep it going…..you’ll soon see a difference.

3. Do the Thing that Makes your Heart Sing

It always makes us feel good – about life and about ourselves. That sense of excitement in whatever our passionate activity is, is a display of our connection to Source. This is where you can tap into the most LOVE.

“Excitement is the physical translation of the vibrational resonance that is your true core, natural being.”
Abraham Hicks

4. Have a good cry! 

Crying is one of the best ways to release negative trapped emotions that could be blocking you from loving yourself. Subconscious (or conscious) feelings of unworthiness can often sabotage our Self Love. Sometimes we can’t put our finger on exactly how we feel or why we want to cry but no worries – better out than in!  I always think it’s better not to hold tears in – rather stay mindful of releasing the resistance to your greatness and celebrate it. Sometimes we can get the urge to cry when we’re on our own, walking in nature or exercising – don’t you find? It’s your body’s way of letting you know you have something to release – so let it out!

5. Abhyanga

Abhyanga is a nurturing Ayurvedic massage with warm oils.  It can be done by another or by yourself.  It’s this self massage infused with love that really works wonders on building one’s Self Love. Using your favourite aromas and essential oils (not necessarily warm as that would make it an even longer process that you’ll find even easier to avoid – true, eh?) massage your body slowly and lovingly remembering to give gratitude and love to each body part as you go. Just allowing yourself the time to do such acts of Self Love sends a signal to your subconscious that you are worthy and deserving which is healing in itself.

 

6. Get a Pet.

Obviously only if you are in a position to take responsibility for one.  Otherwise I’m sure you could “borrow” one occasionally. See how loyal pets are – especially dogs. They will loveyou unconditionally. They are always so pleased and excited to see you. They readily forgive you for any mistakes you make. They don’t judge you. They are not as held back by negative emotions as we are.  They love and accept you exactly as you are. If a dog can do all of this – then surely you can too?

7.  Yoga – of course!

Ask anyone who practices Yoga regularly how it has helped their self love and you’ll hear an inspirational transformation story for sure! Yoga gives us health AND happiness and it’s always easier to love ourselves when we’re healthy and happy.

8. Compliment yourself.

Say lovely things to and about yourself – even if the compliments are half-hearted in the beginning it will get you in the energy flow of appreciating different aspects of yourself. It’s all about that energy flow!

9. Love your Inner Child.

Inner Child Work is where we find that little child from our past who is still within us, and give him/her all the love they need.  We pick up so many blocks to Self Love when those we expect and hope to get love from let us down or for whatever reason, we don’t feel the love they are trying to give us. Parents can only do what they are capable of doing at the time and they, too, have their own issues going on. Maybe just turning up late to pick you up from school made you feel “unloved” – these things can be so innocent.
We are all made of pure love energy underneath which is why we seek to attract pure love energy.  We go looking for love from other people. But the secret is not to look for love from others but to provide it for ourselves. If we can provide ourselves with the love our subconscious so desperately craves then we can enjoy love from others as an added bonus!
Close your eyes (in meditation) and visualise yourself at a time in your life when you felt unloved and then visualise yourself going up to your younger self and wrapping your arms around them and telling them how special they are and how much they are loved. If done seriously, it can be quite emotional, but it is so, so powerful and very, very healing. And, of course, it isn’t always the little child within us that needs a hug. The teenager, young adult and grown adult within you will also appreciate a squeeze and hug of pure love, no doubt.

10. Forgiveness.  

There is no greater act of Self Love than Forgiving yourself and others. Easier said than done I know and if you are having problems with this healing concept, I suggest you start with repeating and writing affirmations such as,
“I am willing to forgive myself and others. I set the past free.”

 

Have I missed any?  What are your Self Love tips – as always, I would love to hear from you.

Need help getting started on all of this?  For Self Healing Coaching and/or Energy Healing get in touch deborah@deborahjanesutton.com or come and visit one of our Heal yourself to Happiness Retreats

Retreats

Love and Blessings

xx

How to get Affirmations to work for you

You can’t start a piece on Affirmations without first mentioning the lovely Louise Hay who is undoubtedly the Queen of Affirmations and certainly her book, You Can Heal Your Life, was the beginning of my conscious journey to inner love, peace, acceptance and joy.  This, by it’s pure nature, led to my improved health, abundance, vision and happiness.  For this reason, not only am I a big fan of Affirmations, but I also love helping others understand How and Why they are so important to Self Healing and Happiness.

However, I have had a number of clients who have complained that they don’t feel comfortable with saying Affirmations because they feel empty or the sentences get stuck in their throats for the simple reason that they perceive them as “lies”.

Let’s take the example,

“I love myself so I lovingly feed myself nourishing foods and beverages.”

You may not have learned to love yourself yet and indeed it may just bring to your mind the fact (and guilt and shame) that you regularly eat junk food and drink fizzy drinks.  (I was going to write “alcohol” there but I honestly believe that fizzy drinks are more poisonous to our bodies than alcohol but that’s another story!)

If this is your reflex response thought to this Affirmation then you can either focus on the love you do have for yourself and the aspects of your diet that ARE nourishing – even if this is small – at least it’s TRUE and by repeating it morning, noon and night you will find that you will slowly love yourself more each day AND slowly increase the amount of your diet that is “nourishing”.  But you do have to do it – believe me it works!

If this still does not resonate with you and it just makes you feel worse (we can’t have that) then you can downsize the Affirmation.

For example, by using the words ” I am changing” or “I am Willing”

“I am changing  the way I think about food.”

“I am willing to let LOVE into my heart.”

“I am willing to improve my diet.”

We can do the same for Abundance Affirmations too.  When trying to manifest more money into their lives many people get stuck because they are focusing on what they DON’T HAVE rather than what they HAVE.  If you focus on “lack” then the Universe will give you MORE “lack”.  This is where there is an overlap with manifesting  through Gratitude and The Law of Attraction.  It’s all the same concept.  I’ve said it before and I’m sure I will say it again! Everything is Energy.  We emit a vibrational frequency and by the pure nature of Science (yes, Science!) the Universe will bring back to us that SAME frequency.  So if you emit energies of Gratitude it will bring you MORE things to be Grateful for.  If you emit LOVE, it will send you MORE LOVE.  It’s SO simple!  Some people refer to it as “The Secret” (Rhonda Byrne’s famous book and film) but I prefer the word “Concept” because, to me, it’s such a logical CONCEPT.

So as you focus every morning, noon and night on the nourishing aspects of your diet, the good things about your body, the things you DO have and are grateful for and the abundance you actually already have, the Universe will match it and bring you MORE.  Now that’s ABUNDANCE!

 

How to Boost the Power of Your Affirmations

To help you raise your vibrations try visualising as you say your Affirmations – visualise the body you want to have (make sure it’s YOUR body you visualise and not anyone else’s – you have no idea what’s inside other people’s bodies), visualise your bills paid, visualise driving the car you want, visualise a soul mate, visualise the activity you want to be doing ………………I mean REALLY imagine you already have it.  SEE it – what does it look like? SMELL it – what does it smell like?  HEAR and TASTE it.  FEEL it – what does it feel like?  SENSE the whole thing.  Now THIS will raise your vibrations to receiving whatever it may be.  If a negative or contradictory thought enters your head – just let it go – and keep going.

Some people find Affirmations are more powerful and effective said while doing yoga, for example.  Personally, I find repeating them while swimming is powerful but then you have to find YOUR “thing”. The thing that makes your Heart Sing – and say them then!

 

How Often Do I Need to Repeat my Affirmations?

I have said repeat them morning,  noon and night but really I mean much MORE than that!  When you first wake up, while cleaning your teeth, while in the shower, while doing your hair, while driving to work, if you’re busy all day at work say them when you got to the loo – just keep saying them.  Try and say them with total BELIEF.  Even if none of this is resonating with you and you still don’t believe they can work STILL just SAY them.  I had no idea how powerful Affirmations could be – I just repeated the first set of Affirmations from Louise Hay’s book – and said them without knowing or believing any of this – it was only later on that I realised all my Affirmations had come true!  Honestly – it was like OMG!  I have and I am everything that I’m saying – Wow!  Whether it was physical manifestations or my perception of things that had changed is an interesting point to explore but that is another story! They had ALL become, indeed, TRUE for me.

 

So I quickly wrote out 8 more Affirmations to fit my new desires.  I also took these from Louise Hay’s film “You Can Heal Your Life” because they were all encompassing and relevant to me (to everyone I don’t doubt)  but you can make your own up or find the best ones for you from the exercise at the end of this piece.

 

How Can I Word my Affirmations?

Affirmations always need to be in the present tense – if you say, for example, ” I will have a beautiful body”, “I will have an increased income”  then the Universe will match that vibration of NOT having  it NOW.  So keep your Affirmations in the present.  Also, keep them more general in nature – the word Abundance is great – it covers so much.

Try not to be too specific – the Universe works in mysterious ways and it’s not up to us to ask “How” something will be manifested – this, in fact, can hinder manifestations.  Trust that the energy will do its thing if YOU do your bit.  Very often the Universe manifests things in a way we could never have imagined so by focussing on the “hows” you are limiting your desire from coming to fruition.

 

Focus on what it is you want rather than what you don’t want and don’t use negatives in your Affirmations.  For example, the statement “I don’t have debts”  will not work because it gives its attention to the idea of debt and guess what?  yes – the Universe will match it with more debt.  If you say “I have more money ” – this is better but  you are still focussing on the idea that you don’t have much NOW or not as much as you want – there is still a sense of LACK.  Compare it to,

“I welcome money into my life.”  “I am prosperous.”  “I welcome prosperity into my life.”  “I welcome Abundance.”  You can progress to “I can easily pay my bills.”  “I am a magnet for money.”  etc

 

Why  Should We Repeat  Affirmations so many times?

What we’re actually doing here is reprogramming our subconscious minds which brings us onto the overlap between Affirmations and PSYCH K which is the amazing belief changing modality based on integrating the brain to accept new, positive beliefs and so releasing the existing, limiting and self sabotaging belief.  We program our minds from a very young age usually from our parents, teachers and other significant adults in our lives at the time.  We are totally unaware that we do it and for this reason we are often unaware that we are limiting ourselves with such beliefs.  Thought and therefore belief, is energy and, as always,  the Universe will match it. If you were told as a small child, for example, that you didn’t deserve to have something or you weren’t worthy of having something and you BELIEVED this – by continuing to believe this, your beliefs will make it true and the Universe will bring you more situations where you feel unworthy.  By installing statements (Affirmations) of “I am Worthy” and “I deserve…”  “I am loved..” etc the Universe will match this and give you situations whereby you can feel your worth and loved.  This can, and does, change people’s lives around as we build so much of our lives on our BELIEFS especially the beliefs we have about OURSELVES.

Installing new beliefs  is quicker with PSYCH K but we still encourage clients to repeat their new beliefs as often as possible to reinforce them.  We can’t spend our whole day practicing PSYCH K (a few sessions would be a good idea though!) but we can (and do) run thoughts through our heads all day………….it’s up to you to make them positive,

“Thoughts Become Things – Choose good ones” – Mike Dooley.

 

Which Affirmations Should I Use?    EXERCISE

So here’s the Exercise.  I have a long list of Affirmations here and I want you to slowly read them and acknowledge your FIRST thought response to each one.  If you can read it comfortably then there’s a chance you believe it and you can move on.  If your mind jumps to one or two things that contradict the statement then you could be nearly there but with some issues to clear up making this statement a good option for you to adopt.

Now if you repeat one and it gets really stuck in your throat – then that’s the one (or ones) you need to focus on the most.  They are the ones you NEED.  If they don’t resonate with you – then why not?  Do you want them to be TRUE?  If so write it down and start saying it – morning, noon and night 🙂

For those of you who can Self Muscle Test – repeat each statement and muscle test yourself – a positive response indicates that your sub conscious mind already believes the statement.  You can muscle test on each statement until you find one that tests negative.  That’s the one to work on.

 

The most powerful of all Affirmations

 

I love and accept myself completely

 

Health/Body

I am free to be happy and healthy

My body heals itself naturally and quickly

I choose to live a vibrant and healthy life

My mind, body and spirit are harmoniously balanced now

I lovingly nourish my physical body

I see beauty in all parts of my body

I love and accept my body as it is and as it changes

I now allow the healing energy of love to flow through me

 

Prosperity

Money is a wonderful tool that I use to create possibilities for me and for others

The universe is a friendly place and willingly gives me everything I need

I deserve to have all the money I need

I am proud of my results and I deserve my reward

It is ok to have more money than I need

It is ok to want to have money

I receive and accept money with love and gratitude

I allow myself to earn good money

 

 Personal

I am ready, willing and able to be the best me that I can be

I allow my visions and dreams to become reality

I have the ability to create my life as I want it to be

I love, appreciate and accept myself completely

It is easy for me to give love to others

It is easy for me to receive love from others

I am worthy of having an intimate and passionate relationship

I am able to maintain my individuality in my relationships

My Favourite Affirmations – enjoy them and see the change!

All my relationships are harmonious

I am deeply fulfilled by all that I do

Every experience is a success

I deserve the best and accept it now

I lovingly listen to my body’s messages

I am happy, healthy, whole, complete and secure

I express gratitude for all that is good in my life

Each day brings wonderful new surprises

Everything I need to know is revealed to me

Everything I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence

Life is a Joy and full of Love

I am healthy and full of energy

I am loving, lovable and loved

I prosper wherever I turn

I am changing and growing

I am an unlimited being, receiving unlimited abundance from an unlimited Source in unlimited ways.

 

For more information on Affirmations and other forms of Self Healing and Energy Healing please contact deborah@deborahjanesutton.com